Hungry for Happiness

So I finished my first book of the year: The Hunger Games. I include spoilers below but I'll warn before I spoil. I choose this book a) cause everyone and their cousin has read it and told me to read it, and b) because the movie's coming out soon and I have a feeling it will be good. I purposefully waited til after I read the first book to watch the trailer or see the cast (though I did know the two main characters before I read it) and I am excited. Very excited. I wouldn't have cast the lead the same, but I'm fairly confident that she'll do a good job. The lead male is just perfect and I could picture him as Peeta the entire book. The other castings are perfect too, much better than I would have done if I had that task. I'm quite excited. Anyways, this book review seems more like a movie analysis which I'll save for after I see the movie in March. Back to the book:

The story: I liked it. I didn't love it but I liked it. I can agree that it's a really interesting, albeit terrifying premise which was carried out in a believable (if that's the right word) way. In a nutshell the book is about a future dystopia where after the ice caps melt (they don't say this but imply it), and the world has been destroyed by plagues, war, poverty and numerous disasters which were probably mostly man made, there's only 12 districts left in America and a single powerful central government called the Capitol. Due to a failed uprising, the Capitol has decided to once a year take one boy and one girl from each district and pit them against each other in a fight for the death for their amusement and to show that they are the big power. Heroine Katniss is from the poorest district and not expected to last long, but yet she ends up showing much promise when there. Along the way she meets some interesting characters and adventures ensue.

What I liked: It is an interesting concept that I could potential see happening, not anytime soon mind you, but in those conditions it was believable. How someone from such a bad place could do so well is also very believable as you get to learn more about her. She has such anger at the Capitol and you really feel for how unfair and awful her situation is. There are a lot of great characters who I really want to learn more about and can only guess you do in the sequels. There's the previous winner from District 12 Haymitch who is always in a drunken stupor. The fantastic new designer Cinna who you can tell is trying to make a change for the better. My favorite by far though is Peeta, the boy from her district. He seems so honest and real and my god I'm in love with him. It's probably because of this that I can't say I love the book(see Spoilers below if so inclined).

What I didn't like: Katniss is the emotional anti me. She's a hunter and a fighter and therefore doesn't let herself feel to much. It's because of this that I could never relate to her. I do understand it, and I'm not saying she's a robot, cause she's not. She does care for her family and others she comes across but she's not warm and loving and she pisses me off. It's also a horribly depressing book. It's about kids being forced to fight to the death. So the only way they win is if everyone else dies. Including the people from the same district. Katniss and Peeta begin their training together and as they get closer they both have to remember they will need to kill each other in the ring. How awful is that? It took a lot of plot twists and forcing myself to finish the book and once I did, I didn't feel compelled to keep reading the sequels, even though I will give it my best shot.

Stop reading here if you want to be surprised by the book or movie.

Superbore

Well it was Superbowl again last weekend and like I felt back in 2008, either team to win, I lose. I hate the Patriots since 2004 And even more than I hate the pat, I hate Brady. I've explained why in the past. I'm an eagle's fan so I can not root for the NY Giants. Goes against my programing. Which is a shame, cause Manning's a good quarterback and were he on any other team I'd like him. Still, this year unlike in 2008, the Giants did not deserve to be there. If all the other teams in the NFC East didn't suck major balls, they would not have been there. The fact that they made it through playoffs was just a series of flukes. It should have been the 49ers. They worked for it. They wanted it. They earned it. Who gets to go? The stupid giants. They did not earn it. Even worse than them making it to Superbowl was them winning Superbowl. Just a terrible terrible game.

Usually for years there's such a horrible game, the commercials make up for it. This year was lacking. I chuckled at one or two, but not even enough to go and find a clip of them to post on here. So how much could I have really liked them? Halftime show was fine. Madonna, as much as I don't care for her, was damn impressive for a 50 year old woman. Obviously lip syncing but I don't have problem with that for events that big. Even still, didn't like most of her song choices, but at least I recognized them.

The saving graces for Sunday were that I got the day off from work and I got to spend it with my family. I had breakfast with my mom and brother and then the in laws came over to watch the game. My sister and brother-in-law stayed over longer for a game night which was lots fun and is becoming a weekly thing. So overall, a boring game, but a good day. And now I can focus my attention more on hockey.

Spreading the News

*There were two entries from Christmas and the day after that I had written that you may want to read first, to at least have this one make sense. I feel somewhat confident that this is safe to post now, mostly because I think I only have one reader. I guess time will tell to see if I have more.



We had our doctor's visit and got to see the little thing growing inside me. Doesn't look like much beyond a peanut right now, but it has a heartbeat which the doctor said drops the chance of miscarriage to below 10% so yay, looks like we're really having a kid and I can get excited. August 27th is the due date though she said it will probably be after that. It gives us 7 more months to prep the house for him or her. From this point on I'm gonna refer to the little one as Pooh Bear just cause it's easy and fun. We went from the doctor's office to tell Ken's folks. They were quite excited, especially Ken's dad who's been pushing for a baby since before the wedding. Ken's mom is already planning baby projects she can sew or knit up.

Saturday we told my parents. As mom's birthday's on the 26th I asked her if she was planning on taking a trip for it this year. She said no, and then asked if there was something she should be around for with a smile. I told her yes and she gave me a big hug and rushed off to the other room. Danny was confused and asked what was going on and I asked if he wanted to see pictures we had taken this last week and showed him the sonogram ones. Mom came out with a baby blanket she had bought when she thought this announcement might be coming. Dan then spoke up with a "Wait, you're pregnant?" Dad said nothing but cried and gave me a hug. I don't think he's come to terms with the fact that I'm moved out, married, and not 12 so this has hit him pretty hard. I'm really excited that my mom figured it out before I told her, it's nice to know that with all my problems with her at the end of the day she is my mommy and she does know me.

Sunday we had Ken's family over to watch the football game and tell his sisters and grandma. Ken's older sister was supposed to have a baby last December and it just didn't make it. I was super scared about telling her. Still when Ken told her she was going to be an aunt a smile spread across her face and she gave me a big hug and asked if she could plan the shower. I am truly lucky to have such an amazing family. Apparently she's been suspecting it since Christmas which is amazing since we only knew since Christmas. I guess she knew the signs to look for though.

Now the pressures on to make sure little Pooh Bear stays in there and stays healthy. I'm doing my best and gotta leave the rest up to god, faith, karma, the universe, what have you. Now's also the time to figure out who's reading my blog without me knowing ;-)

Bandwagon

Well boys and girls it's that wonderful time of year when pretzels and pigs in a blanket are abundant and the beer flows free: Football Playoffs. This year my beloved Eagles didn't even come close to making it there, which is actually pretty rare of them. 2004 they made it to super bowl where they lost to Tom Brady and the Patriots. Being a sore loser I made an oath to always hate Brady and everything he did, which was made all the easier when the things he did included dumping his mega hot pregnant girlfriend  Bridget Moynahan for an arguably hotter Gisele Bündchen. In fairness to Brady, he probably didn't know she was pregnant when he dumped Moynahan, but he was dating Bundchen close enough after having unprotected sex with Moynahan that she discovered she was pregnant with his kid. That's pretty crappy. Hatred renewed. One thing I don't hate is this picture:

Anyways, Eagles haven't been back to super bowl since, but they've been wildcards and champs a few times since. So as I have said in post past, I am not a baseball fan but a Phillies fan. I am not a hockey fan, but a Sharks fan. I am however a football fan. I can watch non Eagles games with much interest and have watched every super bowl game since 2004. With my Eagles out of the running, I looked for a new team to root for. Obviously, I'm not going to be rooting for Brady and his team. I'm not going to be rooting for the New York Giants, who really shouldn't have made it into the running. I've got nothing against Eli Manning, in fact, were he playing for any other team I would gladly root for him. But the Giants are a NFC east team. That'd be like rooting for Dallas Stars. Ain't gonna happen.

A team that is playing well this year, and is right in my backyard is the San Francisco 49ers. Perfect, right? Nope, apparently not. Apparently because I wasn't rooting for them all season long I'm not allowed to root for them now. Believe me, bandwagoners annoy me like no other, but during a time when my team ain't playing, I don't see what the harm is for rooting for another that I would only root against when up they were up against my Eagles. I've been given a hard time about rooting for them by some. I'm not saying I'm trading in my Eagles jersey for a Niner one, but I feel like I should be allowed to hope they make it to Super Bowl. Either way, I'm super proud of all they've done this season. Saturday's game was one of the best I've seen and you could tell the Niners wanted it more. Saint's are a solid team and Brees is a really terrific QB, and the 49ers pulled it off. It's going to be very easy to root for them next weekend against the Giants. Hopefully I don't piss off too many true fans.

Fun Fact Friday

1. I am only posting this today because it's Friday, I wanted to blog and couldn't blog about what I really want to yet. Should tide me over for a few days.

2. I am a terrible home keeper. I'm very messy, I don't like cleaning, not a fantastic cook. This is gonna suck for Kenny.

3. February's my least favorite month. I don't like Valentine's Day, it's cold, it's just a boring month. Luckily, it's also the shortest.

4. I am not a baseball or hockey fan. This was pointed out to me by a coworker when after the Phillies were out of the playoffs last year I considered baseball season over. "Oh, so you're a Phillies fan, not a baseball fan then." It was such a cool epiphany. I couldn't tell you who won the Stanley Cup last year either as when the Sharks are out of it, I place my attention on baseball. Football I will follow through til the end though, and thus I feel confident saying I'm a football fan.

5. As much as I love Philadelphia, I would never want to move back there. I hate living in the city, and California weather kinda kicks ass. Looks like you're stuck with me out here.

Tabula Rosa

Happy 2012 everyone. Mine's off to an ok start. I didn't have a rocking new years eve but I'm kinda ok with that. Frankly I would have been happy just watching the east coast ball drop and being asleep by 10. We had a few people over though so I had to attempt to be social. We played Apples to Apples for way too long and then watched a decent movie called "Tucker and Dale vs Evil" which is essentially a movie like "The Hills Have Eyes" as told by the hillbillies. Very gory but very funny. Still very different from New Years in years past. I didn't even drink this time, which I think is the first new years since I was 16 which that was the case? Yay maturity I suppose.

2011 was a really fantastic year for me though. I got married, moved into our first house, had some kick ass trips (mostly Disney ones). I was a bit sad to see it go. This is a new year though and I have a new start to making myself even better. So here are my ever so clique New Years Resolutions:

1. Facebook less. I've been gradually phasing off facebook. I only update my status maybe once a week, but I still check it several times a day. I've promised Ken no long to be on facebook when he's around which I think will help. The fact of the matter is if I need to connect to people I should give them a call and meet up for lunch. Just seeing pictures of the food they're having for dinner or their complaints about the check out lady at Target doesn't count as keeping in touch. I'm not going to delete it all together though cause a. It's a nice easy way to see adorable pictures of my cousin's baby, and all my east coast family, and b. I'm fairly sure a good amount of people wouldn't know how to get in touch with me without it.

2. Blog more. It's very therapeutic to write out what I'm feeling and what's going on and think that only Pat's reading it. I might have other secret readers, but I don't know that. I do still feel the need to connect but it doesn't feel as, what's the word, attention grabby? if I post here vs facebook. If you're reading my blog you came to learn more about me. I'll try not to disappoint.

3. Stop wasting time on people not deserving of it so I can focus my attention on those that do. Like I've said in recent blogs, I've lost a bunch of friends lately. These weren't all big blow up drag outs where we throw out our friendship bracelets. They were more of a slow drifting and I'm hearby making the decision which I want to drift back and which ones I'll send off to sea. I'm not the same girl I was in high school, I'm tired of being treated like it. In fact, I'm not a girl. I'm a woman, a grown woman who has a house and will be starting a family soon. Why should I let "friends" tease me, make me feel like I'm not good enough? I am good enough damn it. I just don't fit what you want. And you know what? If I'm not what you want than this is probably good for both of us that we won't have to spend time together. I'll probably bitch more on this later as old habits die hard, but I already feel more calm knowing I get to choose the people I spend my free time with.

4. Typical eat healthier, exercise more, blah blah blah. No need to comment on this more.

5. Eat at home more. We have a beautiful kitchen. It's silly to not use it. While Morgan Hill has many fantastic restaurants (ohh, good topic for a later blog), the best meal is the one you make yourself. Plus yay for saving money! Eating out shall be reserved for special occasions or going out with friends. For me and Ken, it's cookbook time!

That's about it. There's plenty more I'd like to do but these will be my focus. Good luck on all yours!

Merry Christmas

Another belated post written on the 26th. Christmas morning I woke up at 6:30 too excited to go back to sleep. I found a bunch of pregnancy websites because I have so many questions. I read all the books on how to conceive but none for what to do once I got here. Did you know my baby is the size of a poppy seed right now? I'm kinda amazed that it's big enough to see at all. That is if those tests I took yesterday are even accurate. I did buy them from the dollar store (which according to my research is just fine, but still...) Ken woke up finally at 9 and said good morning to me and good morning to our baby. I told him I'm still not getting excited til I know for sure it's in there.

We headed over to his sister's where we were greeted with "There's a fresh pot of coffee!" Damn it. "Hey Les, do you have any decaff tea?" Ken asks his sister. It seemed blantenly obvious that I must be pregnant cause why else would I turn down delicious coffee for crappy decaffeinated tea. Luckily, I'm just paranoid cause no one seemed to notice and also offered me a mimosa. I made mine myself when no one was looking and may have "forgotten" to put in the champagne.

As we started unwrapping presents, my sister in law put my mimosa on a table and told me that she would remember which was mine. A few presents in I notice in horror that her husband continued to drink from my orange juice mistaking it for his mimosa. Crap, the jig is up, everyone will know. When Leslie noticed this she yelled at Nathan for drinking mine and handed me his. Ken ran interference and said he'd hold my drink while I opened gifts. I'm still super paranoid that Nathan knows since he has now gotten to the bottom of my mimosa and has yet to taste the champagne, but being that he's been through the whole miscarriage thing I think that if he did figure it out, he would have stayed mum about it.

At my parents it wasn't any easier, especially since my parents are huge drinkers. Dad had bought blue moon for me and there were two bottles of red wine on the table for dinner. Also on the table for dinner: crab cakes. Are they safe to eat? Kenny had told me on our way over that it was going to be tough on me not having crab. And there's no way to find out cause I'm at the dinner table and Dad put one on my plate. I had very tiny bites and but my focus on the peas, steak and potatoes. I poured myself a small glass of wine and put it between Kenny and I. It was just enough wine that people wouldn't be offering me more but not too much that Kenny couldn't gulp down once the bottles were empty and we didn't need to worry that it would get refilled. The thing I love about Kenny is he knows exactly what I was doing and he did it perfectly. I love our psychic connections. We somehow made it out ok and I found out when I got home that not only can I eat crab cakes, but it's high in folic acid which is what my baby needs. Oh well. I'll know for the next time I'm secretly pregnant.

Christmas Eve Surprise

So I think this is going to be a long line of super quiet blogging I do and don't post publicly til much later. This will most likely be posted in March or something. I can assure anyone reading this though that it was written December 25th, 2011.

Christmas Eve was yesterday and given that I had the whole day off I was finally able to go to Ken's grandmother's house for tamale making. I don't like tamales really but that's not important. I got to see all Ken's aunts and cousins (divorce runs high in Ken's family so there wasn't too many uncles). I also got to drink some of Ken's Grandma Stella's famous coffee. I had like three cups. They waited til noon and busted out the wine and beer. No one offered me any though so I stuck to coffee. It was a good time though and I was able to talk sports to Aunt JoJo's boyfriend who is also an Eagles fan.

We got home at 3 and I only have an hour to set up the house before people start coming over for dinner. I went to use the bathroom since I'm full of coffee. Wanting to make sure I was free and clear to drink wine that evening I took a pregnancy test too. This has been a monthly event for me as I'm somewhat irregular. This month I knew I wasn't since it was the month we were too busy to really try for it since I was sick half the month and we both have been working long hours and whatnot. Yet when checking the test I noticed a faint line appearing in the positive column. This must be my mind playing tricks on me. I've been wanting to see a positive for so long I'm making one up in my head. Or this test is broken. Then I see the control line is there too. The positive line is getting ever darker. That is one positive pregnancy test.

"Holy SHIT!" I yell out. Ken asks what I'm yelling about from the other room and I ask him to wait a minute and I run and grab another test to make sure this one isn't a fluke. Sure enough another positive. I take it out to him. He stares at me confused for a moment and I say "You're going to be a dad." A huge smile takes his face and he gives me a big kiss. I'm still shaking and say I need to take another one to be sure. Third once also confirms I am with child. I string out a line of profanities which is very in like me but I'm in shock.

Then it sets in that our families are on the way over and we need to get ready and also not tell them for another 2 months. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do, by the way. The dinner actually turned out very well though and I was freaked out by how often the conversation turned to pregnant talk. It was also fun explaining why I wasn't drinking alcohol or coffee. I was already upset by how much coffee and caffeinated tea I've had the last few weeks. Reading up on it later though the caffeine only increases the miscarriage possibility, so if this baby stays around it won't be hurt by it. Luckily I had a cold so I can say I wasn't drinking cause I didn't want to mix it with my medicine I was taking for it. As for coffee, I didn't want to have any since I'd be going to bed soon.

Our families left and we were able to reflect on the wonderful news we had. I tried emailing my doctor to set up an appointment but it being the holidays, she's on leave. Once again I'm playing the waiting game. I just hope and pray that this is real, that he or she stays in there until August. There's so much to do, but I really think we're ready for it. It is really the best Christmas present I've ever gotten.

Festivus

As my friend Pat wisely pointed out, today is Festivus. This is my first Festivus. I'm woefully unprepared for it as I've been preparing for Christmas. I cross stitched a sign for my parents in law as they're currently living in a converted chicken coop which they've named the Coop De Ville along with their 4 cats and 2 dogs. Things did not turn out as symmetrical as I had hopped but I am truly buying in on the it's the thought that counts defense.

And on the note of it's the thought that counts, for Grandma Jeannette I attempted to do a picture of El Toro. It actually turned out a lot better than I was expecting it to, but that's mostly because I haven't taken a painting class since Elementary school. Mostly. It's at least pretty obvious as to what it's supposed to be a picture of which is always the biggest challenge.

For my brother I'm actually pretty impressed with the final product. He's lately taken to pretending his a sharks fan since that's what all his friends are. To his credit he's watched every game this season and texted me the scores, not taking into account that I don't want him to (see my grievances below). He's finally admitted that he can't be a Ducks fan as well. But yeah, I still don't fully buy it. That said, it was a good excuse to paint the truly awesome logo that is the Sharks.

Anyways, onto the subject of the post. It's Festivus, and while I don't have a festivus pole I can at least take part in the other two parts of the holiday by having a feat of strength and air my grievances. I will wrestle Kenny to the ground later tonight, probably while he's not paying attention so I can win. Here are my grievances of the year:

1. My friends or lack there of. This year sucked balls for me and my friends. I'm facing the new years with fewer than I started. This doesn't bother me so much. People grow apart. I guess what bothers me is the friends I thought I could rely on turned out to hurt me the most. I feel stupid for putting my trust in the wrong people.

2. My promotion being ever out of reach. We have three library workers retiring this year. My supervisor advised me to apply for one of their old jobs. If I get it I have more hours, a raise, and more responsibility. I could quit my second job. I applied for the job a few months ago and haven't heard anything about it since.

3. My parents on again off again divorce. Dad doesn't want it, Mom does when she feels like she's not getting enough attention. I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm sick of it.

4. I didn't get pregnant as easily as my or Ken's folks. I thought it would be once you decide to have kids, boom, you're pregnant. I'm not. Nor have I been the last 4 months I've tried. Which would be ok except since we just had to tell our folks I know they're expecting it and now I feel like I'm disappointing more than just me and Ken.

5. I don't have my guest room towel or laundry because a certain sister in law took it with her when she finally moved out and has yet to bring it back. And on that note...

6. There's still a goddamn dresser in our guest room that isn't ours.

7. We don't have cable right now because Ken has yet to set it up since installing the mantle. No biggie for him since he never watches it. Meanwhile I've been paying 100 a month these last two months for tv I can't watch. I miss my football.

8. Eagles suck this year! Like they're terrible. It hurts.

9. My brother is annoying as all hell. He sends me stupid text messages about Jonah Hill losing weight. Or he just took a biology test. I don't care. It's sad he doesn't have more friends than his sister but oh my god I'm going crazy trying to be a good sister and spend time with him. He's annoying, decides he likes certain things and then won't shut up about them. I'm going to crack soon.

10. Morgan died this year. This will be my first christmas without her out here since that first christmas where I got the doggie bone indicating that we could get her. It sucks.

I think that's good. Anymore and I might punch a wall or something. Hope you and yours have a happy Festivus and a Merry Christmas.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Well, I've officially had a request to blog again and I'm not one to disappoint. So let me update with some fun things going on in my life. Firstly, my kitchen is done! And beautiful, if I don't say so myself.

The fridge will of course be updated as we find ourselves with excess of moneys. The stove is brand new though, stainless steel, gas lined, 5 range. I love it. It's beautiful and cooks food perfectly.

Also beautiful: our counter tops. They have flecks of green and cranberry in it. It matches the beautiful cabinets that are not actually cherry wood as they look, but stained at a much cheaper price. We also have our new dishwasher delivered today. It too is stainless steel and I'll post pictures once it's installed.

Secondly, it's Christmas* time! I'm surprisingly excited about it this year, I think mostly just because we have a house to decorate. Which we have:

Ken did an amazing time hanging the lights, though we still do need a wreth for the door. It's still feeling a lot like cozy holiday though. We've been making either hot apple cider or hot tea every evening. We also have our new fireplace installed. It's a gas line so we don't have to worry about any save the air days. There is also something very Christmasy feeling about a nice open fire. Complete with stockings by the fire.

 Why yes, that is a beautiful new mantle, thank you for noticing. I feel pretty on top of my shopping this year. If I haven't gotten people their gifts yet, I at least know what I'm getting them. I'm glad that I won't be going completely broke this year. My inlaws want homemade gifts so I'm cross stiching them something for their new home. I'm making Ken's Grandma a painted picture. I'll take pictures of both  once completed. Now if I could only get over this horrible cold I could maybe finish them.

*I say Christmas time because I celebrate Christmas, if I celebrated Hanukkah, I'd say it's Hanukkah time! If I celebrated Kwanzaa or however it's spelt, and you get the picture. I'm tired of people getting offended by the word Christmas. I'm not offended by "Happy Hanukkah" or "Happy Veteran's Day" (I'm not a Veteran after all) or anything. Saying Merry Christmas is saying I hope you have a great next few days.

Shouldn't be taken as an offensive statement. And that's my Christmas rant.

So to all my readers out there: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year