July update

Well I haven't blogged as much as I was planning on, this time I actually have an excuse though. Our house got broken into and my laptop was taken. Now I'm at the mercy of times Kenny's not on the computer in order to get in all my facebook/pintrest/etsy/blogging/superficial etc. time in. I considered writing a big long blog about how much getting robbed sucks (and it does, seriously, it happening to me for the 3rd time wasn't any easier), but it's just too depressing and I spent the last week getting over that shit. Bottom line is I'm safe, Kenny's safe, and our three kitties are safe. The didn't take anything from Pooh Bear's room and we have home owner's insurance. All the jewelry they took from my jewelry box were not nearly as prized as my necklace from Kenny (which I wear everyday because it is my favorite necklace ever) and my wedding rings (which I wear everyday because they are my favorite rings ever). I am also thankful that I just backed up my wedding pictures on our external, my fingers haven't swollen to the point where I couldn't wear my rings, and they didn't find our gun. Woot! No more tears over something that's happened and can't be changed. Just hope Karma does her thing.

In other news, 5 more weeks til Pooh Bear's here which means 5 more weeks of work til December, woot! Let's see if I crack and head back to work early due to cabin fever. I'm hoping having a baby will make the house seem new and everyday different. I don't know if I could last as a stay at home mom, but it will be fun to give it a test drive. I finished Pooh Bear's blanket which looks pretty darned adorable if I do say so myself (I do), it's gotten me back into the crafting spirit. I've already started knitting yet another scarf that I think will be fun to do for a few weeks until I get distracted by something shiny. If I were smarter than I would start up a cross stitch since that will be a lot harder to do with a youngster about. We'll see what I feel up to later. Maybe that's something I can do the week I'm off work before my baby shows up 10 days late cause that's what I'm betting is going to happen.

On the friend front I'm pretty much failing at life. I don't have the energy to make plans with people anymore so really I just wait til they seek me out. The problem is they seem to seek me out every other Saturday and every other Saturday I work. I've missed a baby shower, bridal shower and a wine limo tour birthday party because of it (that last one hasn't happened yet, but it's planned for my working Saturday). I don't know how much fun I'd really be at these things anyways since I can't drink, I'm constantly tired, and pregnant women tend to be attention getters. I understand those women who are constantly pregnant now since everywhere I go I get the "oh you look so adorable! When are you due? Do you know if it's a boy or girl yet?" Even me, the queen of look at me, am beginning to bore of it. But yeah, very impressed that people are still willing to go out in public with me. I actually don't have too many friends I would think of calling up to hang out with regardless. My red robin girls are fantastic and I love them, but nights out with them are always in bars, hookah and otherwise. They feel guilty drinking in front of me, which is silly cause I honestly don't crave alcohol at all. Hookah, yeah, I have to bow out of. But I can still go to a bar and get a cranberry juice. If only they let me. They don't invite me out anymore but I know once the baby gets here they'll be over all the time so I can take comfort in that. My high school friends I've been pulling back from for some time, due to some drama I just don't have the energy to get into right now. My old drama club friends pretty much just get together for weddings etc. The next wedding that's coming up is right after Pooh Bear's here so I'm having to miss it, which sucks cause I know it will be an epically fun and beautiful wedding. Welcome to parenthood I guess. The bright side is I do have a friend with kids, and I actually get to see her tomorrow. My sister in law is pregnant so she'll be in the same boat as me and we're family so she has to spend time with me. And my other close friend that doesn't live in LA or Fresno (who both call me from time to time and hang out with me whenever they're in town) I work with and she's actually been really awesome at planning nights out with our husbands. I think I'll be ok, just not as busy as Julie 3 or 4 years ago.

What it comes down to though is that I am happy in life, my life, however quaint it may be. Things are quiet right now but it is going to get pretty exciting pretty fast here. I'll try to keep up with the blogging for my two readers, but be understanding if I flake out.

The last 100 days

Pooh Bear is due in 100 days. He or she could be a bit late, or he or she could show up early. Either way, there's a very real possibility that I could be holding my child 3 months from now. That's, like, so soon. Really really really soon. I wouldn't say I'm freaking out exactly, it's just all becoming way more real. Pooh Bear is a mover and shaker, gets the hiccups daily, doesn't like Indian or Mexican food, kicks when I play Tchaikovsky or when Kenny talks to my belly. He or she already has a personality already. I'm so excited to meet my little one but at the same time I'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

I'm just not sure what to do. We haven't finished up the nursery yet, but there's nothing I can do with that since it involves heavy lifting which I'm not allowed to do. We haven't picked out a girl's name which I take full responsibility for since I hate every single girl name. I've been taking the birthing classes which have been great, I've been exercising, eating right and finally put on some weight after 5 months of trying. I just still feel like I'm playing a waiting game and there's gotta be more that I can do. I'm just not sure what that more is.

Rather than focus on the negative though I'm going to focus on what I got going for us right now. We already have the crib bought, the changing table was bought for us already as well. The nursery is just a weekend away from being completed. We have a fantastic boy name picked out. Pooh Bear's looking healthy at all appointments and besides two little worry points, I've had a very healthy pregnancy. I really feel empowered with the whole giving birth thing. And most importantly this baby is already so loved by us and the family. These last 100 days will fly by and in the mean while I'll enjoy the last days Kenny and I will have as a twosome. He's even been spending more time with me than with Diabalo 3, and if that ain't love, I don't know what is.

Spreading the News

*There were two entries from Christmas and the day after that I had written that you may want to read first, to at least have this one make sense. I feel somewhat confident that this is safe to post now, mostly because I think I only have one reader. I guess time will tell to see if I have more.



We had our doctor's visit and got to see the little thing growing inside me. Doesn't look like much beyond a peanut right now, but it has a heartbeat which the doctor said drops the chance of miscarriage to below 10% so yay, looks like we're really having a kid and I can get excited. August 27th is the due date though she said it will probably be after that. It gives us 7 more months to prep the house for him or her. From this point on I'm gonna refer to the little one as Pooh Bear just cause it's easy and fun. We went from the doctor's office to tell Ken's folks. They were quite excited, especially Ken's dad who's been pushing for a baby since before the wedding. Ken's mom is already planning baby projects she can sew or knit up.

Saturday we told my parents. As mom's birthday's on the 26th I asked her if she was planning on taking a trip for it this year. She said no, and then asked if there was something she should be around for with a smile. I told her yes and she gave me a big hug and rushed off to the other room. Danny was confused and asked what was going on and I asked if he wanted to see pictures we had taken this last week and showed him the sonogram ones. Mom came out with a baby blanket she had bought when she thought this announcement might be coming. Dan then spoke up with a "Wait, you're pregnant?" Dad said nothing but cried and gave me a hug. I don't think he's come to terms with the fact that I'm moved out, married, and not 12 so this has hit him pretty hard. I'm really excited that my mom figured it out before I told her, it's nice to know that with all my problems with her at the end of the day she is my mommy and she does know me.

Sunday we had Ken's family over to watch the football game and tell his sisters and grandma. Ken's older sister was supposed to have a baby last December and it just didn't make it. I was super scared about telling her. Still when Ken told her she was going to be an aunt a smile spread across her face and she gave me a big hug and asked if she could plan the shower. I am truly lucky to have such an amazing family. Apparently she's been suspecting it since Christmas which is amazing since we only knew since Christmas. I guess she knew the signs to look for though.

Now the pressures on to make sure little Pooh Bear stays in there and stays healthy. I'm doing my best and gotta leave the rest up to god, faith, karma, the universe, what have you. Now's also the time to figure out who's reading my blog without me knowing ;-)

Happy November!

I haven't written in a while and neither have the two other blogs I read. I think of how upset that makes me and I realize my hypocrisy. So in case someone is quietly reading this, here you go!

Well on the home front we are almost done with our kitchen remodel. I am super stoked about this for a couple of reasons. This is the last big project in the house meaning that once this goes in we don't have anything we'll need to save up for. We'll be done and then we'll just have fun regular home upkeep bills. Also this means we'll get to make meals at home which will be both cheaper and yummier. Especially with the weather the way it is, hot cocoa sounds so yummy and I refuse to make it in the microwave. Pictures to come.

We're also in the early stages of family planning, which I can safely tell my blog no one reads since Ken wanted to tell our folks. To me it feels too early to tell anyone, unless they hound us asking where's the baby to which I've always wanted to tearfully reply "We're trying, but the doctors say we're probably barren." and make the person feel bad for asking such a ridiculous personal life changing question. I mean seriously, do people honestly not think about having kids until that lady they used to work with  that they ran into at the grocery store ask? "Hey honey, I guess society tells us we're supposed to procreate, as we've only got 7 billion people on earth now, we best get to it!" Part of me will be just fine if it's just me and Ken, especially since we got the three adorable kitties. Yet, another part of me yearned to be one of the parents taking their little ones around door to door trick or treating last week. Little girls dressed up as princesses are so damned cute!

And finally on the social scene I have work friends now! Ones I actually see outside of work who invite me to the places they're at. It's pretty sweet. I feel a lot of my high school friends drifting away and I'll be the first to admit that I'm the cause of such things. After a horrible party in 2010 I just didn't see the point in spending my precious little spare time with insults and drama. That's not to say they are bad people, far from it, they're amazing and fun and full of life. I'm not though. I'm a boring middle aged housewife and honestly, that works for me. My weekends aren't well spent going hiking or drinking or playing video games. They're better when spent cleaning or painting or reading. Maybe I'm just becoming an introvert. I don't know. That's something to ponder in a future post. Right now, I'm just happy to get together and bitch about managers with some slightly younger peers who also love How I met your mother.

Baby Fever

So I know I'm supposed to give an update on my decorating class, but I don't have the energy for that right now. It's going well though, and I'll post pictures and stuff later. I'm very jittery from drinking a whole pot of coffee by myself this morning. Why a whole pot you ask? Good question. I'll get back to you on that one. It was one of those good ideas I have like finishing the bottle of wine by myself or eating all the pasta so I don't have to throw any out.

Last night, I had not 2, not 3, but 4 dreams about taking a pregnancy test to positive results. First off, I hate dreams where I pee, it makes me really scared when I wake up that I'm gonna wake up in a puddle. Second off, I know I'm not pregnant. Like positive I'm not. So what's the deal? I may just have babies on the brain. Last night Ken and I went over our friends house to have pizza with their two and 3/4th kids (she's due in December). Their oldest who's almost 3 loves me. She was following me around all night, constantly sitting on my lap, giving me hugs, really pushing on my biological clock. Ken said I'm not allowed to visit the kiddos til the dreams subside.

I don't know, I mean I'm almost 27, I'm married to my partner of 3 years, I have a house so it's not completely out of the question to have kids, but do I really want them? Ken's great with kids, like really really awesome with them. We had people over to the house a few weeks back and he was playing with the kids in the backyard as if they were his own. He's a father, he just doesn't have kids yet. When I see him light up with kids there's no way I can deny him that.

This will change both our lives significantly though. It means less vacations, no more afternoons at the wineries, at least not for a while, and no guest room (though that's nothing new).I feel like I just got my adult life, am I ready to start my parent one? I feel like this is the time, but I'm enjoying life so much right now I don't want that to change. Is there a way to freeze time for the next year or two where we won't get older? I suppose it's not out of the question to put off having kids for the next couple of years. My parents didn't have me til 30 and even if I waited two years I'd still be ahead of them. But Ken's ready now. I know he is. And having kids might take a few years of trying too. Maybe I should just see what happens. *Sigh* how does one know when's the right time?

The Great Name Change

I wrestled with my decision on changing my name after marriage. I'm a Sullivan, born and raised. It's not only awesomely Irish (much like myself) but it gives off a sense of elegance, legacy, importance (much unlike myself, but something I can at least strive for). It's beautiful. It's sophisticated. It's cause for laugh when people mispronounce it. It's well known. I love it. I just plain love it.

Then I meet Ken. He's wonderful. He's my soul mate. He's going to be the man I spend my life with. He has the last name Mendez. Mendez is not awesomely Irish. It's ethnic in it's own right, but not in the way I am. I'm a freckled face red headed, blue eyed, pale skinned girl. Nothing about my looks says Mendez. I know we could both just keep our own names, but I want to be a family. I want our kids to have the same last name as both of us. Ken being the loving man he is offered to take my last name. I seriously considered this. Ken looks more like a Sullivan than I do a Mendez. And it's not like Ken's family's attached to the name. Ken's mom went through the same thing when she married his dad who was also willing to take her name. But like my mother in law, I too realized that anyone that wonderful deserved to be honored.

So the decision is made. I too will be a Mendez. As for Sullivan? Well I never liked my old middle name anyways. Now to make the decision legal. First was the headache of trying to find out where the marriage license was. I thought it was left at the church but no one from the church could tell me such. Turns out the church was on top of things and turned it in already. I was able to pick it up no problem. Fast forward through 3 busy weeks and I realize I should actually start to change my name before we get to our 1st anniversary. They say the best first stop is going to the social security office. Apparently there's an office in Gilroy. I got there about 9:25, by 9:30 I was talking to someone. I got to answer all kinds of fun questions to prove who I was. I say this sarcastically of course as I just answered my parents names and the city I was born in. I guess that's enough these days. We did have this fun exchange:

SS lady: Now, the next question is voluntary. We are wondering what ethnicity-
Me: I'm white.
SS lady: Thank you. I hate having to do that whole spiel.

That was all. I'll get my card in about 2 weeks. Feeling like I was on a role I headed over to the dreaded DMV. I got a spot right in front. I walk in and get my form to have a new license. As stressed out as I was filling out the form (Do I put my new name or my old name? I don't want to ask the lady at the desk, she seemed mean and annoyed I didn't know where to take a number...), I turned it in and went to sit down only to be called to a window right away. They took my form, renewed my license after a quick test, and took a new picture. I wished that I had put on some make up or at least brushed my hair. But the lady was nice and said the picture looked fine. So I walked out of the DMV within 30 minutes. The entire name change process took only an hour, and that was counting driving down to Gilroy. I don't know what all these crazy women are complaining about. That was a breeze.