When did good news become a bad thing?

For this post to make sense, you'll have to read this first ( this and this would probably be helpful too). Go ahead, read away. I'll wait here.

Ok welcome back, now that you're up to speed you're hopefully not mad that I didn't call you personally to tell you the going ons in my uterus since apparently that's how some people feel. Really, I just don't know how to tell people without it sounding like I'm bragging or I see myself as all important. And I'm not all important. I am to my family which was why I told them. But for my friends, I don't know. It's hard to slip it into conversation unless they ask. When someone tells me they're expecting I tell them congrats and ask how it's going, when they're due, if they want a boy or a girl, stuff like that. I don't give them a hard time with the "why didn't you tell me sooner?"

After I told my folks I called up both grandmothers and told them. I figured this was fine as both live on the other side of the country and would want to hear about their first and second (in Mimi's case) great grandchild. I didn't call up my aunts and uncles and cousins a) because I'm Irish and have a million of them, b) because I was still in the first trimester, am still paranoid about miscarrying, and c) didn't think they would mind if I waited a few weeks to make sure everything was ok. Why tell my grandmothers? Simply put because my mom was dying to talk about it and wanted to spread the news. My grandmother had said she wouldn't tell anyone since it was my news to spread and I figured that was good enough and I could call them a few at a time after my next check up that everything went ok with. Mom had told my aunt within a day and word spread from there. Whatever, at least everyone knows and I don't have to sound like a braggy attention whore.

Then Uncle Bob emails me a week later. "Hey Jules, we're super excited but it would be nice if you called your aunts too cause we don't want to just hear about this through your grandma and mom." Great, so now this happy little thing growing inside of me is having to share room with all the catholic guilt I'm getting. I had to explain back that it's still early in the pregnancy, I'm not ready to get excited about it (it's a month later and I'm still waiting for things to go wrong) and wanted to wait til at least three months before I let myself get excited which is hard to do if I'm going around telling people who are getting excited. Every call I make now is a call I have to make again if something goes wrong. I didn't want to make too many calls. So after a good check up last Valentine's Day I called my mom's 3 sisters and feel like I did my duty there.

We're past the first trimester now and it's not like we're keeping it a secret. We're just not seeking out people to tell them. Most people who see me regularly know though. It was hard keeping from my coworkers as I would occasionally be puking in the back due to smelling fish and chips or onion rings. Not to mention my ever growing baby bump. And most of my friends knew we were trying and asked how it was going. I would crack up over the people who said "Wow, I didn't see the post on facebook about it."

Ahh, facebook. There's a reason I'm weening off it. I get a text from a friend yesterday warning me about a comment someone made on my status about getting heartburn saying "pregnancy causes heart burn" saying I might want to delete it if we still aren't telling people about it. The person who commented on it is not someone we told we're pregnant to so it honestly just seems like speculation. And as Kenny and I have been married a year, pregnancy speculation is pretty rapid. I tell the friend that it's fine and seems like she's just fishing. The friend asks who we're telling, I answer anyone who asks. She tells me how she's making a special effort to tell all close friends about her pregnancy so they're not hurt if they hear it through the grapevine. She then threw in she didn't think she and her husband could be the kind of people who were only friends with other parents. I don't know where she was going with that because I fail to see how the two concepts are related. I can't imagine anyone thinking just because we haven't called them up specifically to tell them about something that is only going to affect Ken and I and our immediate family and not even for another 6 months would warrant a end of friendship. Am I wrong in that? Cause if so I'm quite delusional as to how the adult world works.

Spreading the News

*There were two entries from Christmas and the day after that I had written that you may want to read first, to at least have this one make sense. I feel somewhat confident that this is safe to post now, mostly because I think I only have one reader. I guess time will tell to see if I have more.



We had our doctor's visit and got to see the little thing growing inside me. Doesn't look like much beyond a peanut right now, but it has a heartbeat which the doctor said drops the chance of miscarriage to below 10% so yay, looks like we're really having a kid and I can get excited. August 27th is the due date though she said it will probably be after that. It gives us 7 more months to prep the house for him or her. From this point on I'm gonna refer to the little one as Pooh Bear just cause it's easy and fun. We went from the doctor's office to tell Ken's folks. They were quite excited, especially Ken's dad who's been pushing for a baby since before the wedding. Ken's mom is already planning baby projects she can sew or knit up.

Saturday we told my parents. As mom's birthday's on the 26th I asked her if she was planning on taking a trip for it this year. She said no, and then asked if there was something she should be around for with a smile. I told her yes and she gave me a big hug and rushed off to the other room. Danny was confused and asked what was going on and I asked if he wanted to see pictures we had taken this last week and showed him the sonogram ones. Mom came out with a baby blanket she had bought when she thought this announcement might be coming. Dan then spoke up with a "Wait, you're pregnant?" Dad said nothing but cried and gave me a hug. I don't think he's come to terms with the fact that I'm moved out, married, and not 12 so this has hit him pretty hard. I'm really excited that my mom figured it out before I told her, it's nice to know that with all my problems with her at the end of the day she is my mommy and she does know me.

Sunday we had Ken's family over to watch the football game and tell his sisters and grandma. Ken's older sister was supposed to have a baby last December and it just didn't make it. I was super scared about telling her. Still when Ken told her she was going to be an aunt a smile spread across her face and she gave me a big hug and asked if she could plan the shower. I am truly lucky to have such an amazing family. Apparently she's been suspecting it since Christmas which is amazing since we only knew since Christmas. I guess she knew the signs to look for though.

Now the pressures on to make sure little Pooh Bear stays in there and stays healthy. I'm doing my best and gotta leave the rest up to god, faith, karma, the universe, what have you. Now's also the time to figure out who's reading my blog without me knowing ;-)