Updating

I honestly don't know how those blogging mom's do it, computer time is next to impossible with an infant. The only reason I'm on facebook as much as I am is cause I can do it one handed on my smart phone. Anyways, here are the updates in all things Julie:

Claire is 3 months old now. She's laughing, she's rolling over, she's 12 pounds, and apparently almost ready for solid foods, crazy how fast she's growing! I'm having so much fun dressing her up. No wonder there are so many teen moms, having a baby is like having a doll that you can dress up and talk to, and eat out at restaurants with without feeling like a crazy loaner. She's starting to talk to us too. We can't figure out what she's saying, but she does talk and make sounds and all kind of coolness. Here she is dressed like a pink nightmare.

I'm an aunt now which is really cool. Ken's sister had a baby boy named Henry. He's a spitting image of his dad. A little more fussy than Claire but still very cute in his own right. Claire seems to enjoy being a cousin, or at least having another baby to look at.

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The above was written on December 14, it's now almost two months later and I found myself with the free time to write again. Seriously, how the frack do blogging moms do it?! Anyways, as nap times can vary between an hour and a half and just 5 minutes, I better get my blogging out quickly. Lets see, some updates:

-I'm back at work. I only work 3 days a week, and only 5 hour shifts. It really is the best deal. Claire stays home with grandma who's awesome with her and takes her for walks, and reads to her and watches Sesame Street and all that good stuff.

-We moved from our first house to our last house *Knock on wood*. We're buying Ken's parents house. It's a 5 bedroom/ 4 bathroom home and overwhelmingly beautiful. I'm torn on this. I loved our house, we made it our own, picked out cool paint colors, updated the kitchen. We've been in our new house for a month now and it does not feel like our house. Mostly cause it's filled with Ken's parents stuff, Ken's sister's stuff, and our stuff still mostly in boxes. Once we sell our old house, we buy this one and Ken's parents have money to build Ken's sister and her husbands house which they'll in turn sell to Ken's sister and use that money to build their house and everyone's stuff will be where it belongs. And on that note...

-We apparently picked the perfect time to sell. Our realtor is optimistic on how much our house will go for. I'm trying not to get my hopes up too high but so long as we have the 20% for this house (which it looks like we will) and make back the money we put into the old house (which we definitely will), I'll be happy.

-Claire's freaking awesome! She's got two teeth already (one pictured to the right) and it almost crawling and sitting up. I'm uber in love with her and her epicness. When I was pregnant with her I was really hoping for a boy, now I'm really hoping the next one is going to be a girl too, and not just because Ken wants to stop once we get a boy. I'll blog more on that the next time Claire decides a nap is a good idea and I've finished all the chores I need to get done.

-I've joined a mommy group and made lots of friends. It's nice having a group of people that you can hang out with and talk about your kids without feeling bad cause that's all the others want to talk about anyways. That and whipping out the boob to feed your baby is not only ok, but expected. We also do the occasional mom's night out and stuff too though so it's not full on baby crazy.

-We've got an upcoming trip to Disneyworld this year. The trip will overlap my 29th birthday which is cool since I first went for my 9th birthday. It will be with Ken's parents, his sister her husband and son, Ken's grandma, aunt and hopefully Ken's younger sister and her boyfriend too. I'm very excited for this trip. Claire will be one, and therefore free to bring into the park yet still able to walk and stuff. Should be good times.

Anyways, baby's up and I gotta go back to mommying about. I'll try to blog again soon.

And baby makes 3...

Well, here I am, blogging for the first time as a mom. Still weird to think of myself as that. I know I have a baby, I know she'll call me mom someday, but yeah, I am now a mom in society. That's weird. Since she's deep in napping mode, I can reflect a little on how she came into our life. This is going to be long, and this is mostly for me so I can remember it while it's still mostly fresh in my mind.

I was due to have her August 27th (or 28th depending on which doctor you wanted to listen to). Towards the last few weeks of my pregnancy my doctor told me that I was most likely not going to make it to then. In fact around August 13th she told me I was not likely to go another week. This was quite a surprise to me as I had always assumed that I would go past my due date, both because it's common for first time mothers  and because I myself arrived 10 days late. I even had my last day of work as the 25th since I didn't want to waste my maternity leave on sitting around the house waiting to pop.

Another week went by and I didn't give birth, but I did start to have massive amounts of Braxton Hicks contractions. To those of you who don't know BHCs are "practice" contractions where you're not in labor, it just feels like you could be. They are irregular and are just the body preparing for labor. They are one of god's cruel jokes since each time you have one you stop and think, "oh my god, this is it, right? This is it! Should I call someone? Should I- oh wait, no, they're not regular and now they're gone. False alarm." which isn't awful but it happens like 4 times a day. At my check up that week I was told I was a few cms dilated but that's also pretty common before labor and doesn't mean anything. Due to Kenny's worry of me driving (something I still don't understand) and my doctor's insistence that I could go into labor at any time, I reluctantly called into work and said I would need to start my maternity leave a few days early. I only had a Friday and Saturday shift left but it really calmed Kenny having me done.

Thursday night a friend of Kenny's was visiting her folks with her two sons and we went over to visit and I basically got to grill her for 2 hours on labor, newborns, being a mom. Her older son was interested in me being pregnant since he just went through it with his mom. He talked to my belly and I told him hopefully the baby would be out within the next week so he could meet him or her. Afterwards, Ken and I headed over for dinner with my folks and my visiting uncle in my dad's favorite bar. Not the most family friendly bar in town but they do have good food there. I ordered some fries with nacho cheese and my uncle jokingly suggested adding hot sauce to help induce. I had been trying hot food for the past few weeks trying to get things going to no avil, but saw no harm in trying once more. We made plans to meet for breakfast the following morning as he was only in town for the day. Before going to bed that night I noticed a slight dampening but didn't think much of it.

Friday morning I was still damp and I started to wonder if maybe my water bag was leaking. I had heard that this could happen and water breaking wasn't always a big gush. I called into the hospital and asked them about it and told them I wasn't sure if that's what it was or if I was just sweating since it was a very hot summer. They asked me to come in to get checked out and Ken took the morning off work to come with me. I had to call my uncle and postpone breakfast and tell him that it was probably nothing and we agreed to meet for lunch instead. Ken and I grabbed our hospital bag and took one last pregnancy picture just in case and headed up to San Jose. I kept telling myself this was probably a false alarm and we'd be heading back home in an hour and asked Kenny to put up with me being sad if this wasn't it yet. I apologized in advance to the doctors and nurses that I was probably worrying over nothing and wasting their time. They checked and confirmed that my water had indeed broken, I was officially in labor.

I was checked into the hospital and we made all the phone calls we needed to. My mom said she was going to be coming over after work and my dad said he'd be there when he was needed. Thanks to facebook and chatty moms I was getting texts from numerous friends asking how the labor was going and if baby was here yet. Ken and I placed our final bets on what we thought we were having. Both of us agreed it was going to be a girl. My uncle and brother stopped by to say hi and my mom ended up coming in by lunch. She had wanted to be there for as much as it as possible but I had told her for the actual pushing I wanted it to be just me and Ken and warned her that it might be boring the rest of the time. They asked if we knew names and we said it was going to be Theodore Patrick if it was going to be a boy and something Aurora if a girl, we'd have to see what she looked like first.

My birth plan had always been spend as much time at home as possible, sleep and eat as much as I could and only go to the hospital right before hard labor. This plan was now shot to hell. Once the water breaks, you're supposed to deliver within 24 hours to help fend off infection. My water started to break at 10 pm the night before. Contractions were not happening regular or quickly enough which meant they would need to give me pitocin. Pitocin helps bring on labor but it makes the contractions much more intense. I had wanted a natural childbirth with no pain medication so this was going to be tough. By late afternoon they had to give me pitocin since it was going to be 24 hours. Dad called and asked if he should come by. Thinking he was just stopping by to say hi like my brother and uncle I had said yes. He apparently meant to stay the whole time. I felt awful since I knew it was still a long way to go.

The pitocin started kicking in and the bad contractions were starting. So very very painful. Each one Kenny was there for me with, helping me through it, reminding me to breath, focusing me on other things. Between these I was needing to go to the bathroom which was tough due to having an iv in and being attached to fetal monitoring machine and still trying to keep myself looking composed enough for my clearly uncomfortable father. Contractions were getting worse and worse and I could no longer hide the pain from a worried Kenny. I began to just cry out with each one and yell at my mom for suggesting pain medications between them. This was just the worse of it, it was transition, it'd be time to push soon since I really really wanted to push. The doctor came in to check me and warned me that she thought it was too soon to be ready to push, that she didn't think that much progress would be made, and it was dangerous to check me too often since my water already broke. I was sure I was at least 7 cms, I had to be very close to pushing time. My heart sank as she told me I was now at 3 cm.

Hours more of painful contractions went on, my mom, dad and husband all in uncomfy chairs watching me in pain and stubbornly telling the nurses I didn't want anything for it. I had come this far without anything. I had to be getting close. I began throwing up everything in my stomach between contractions so I couldn't even rest during the lulls. At 4 am on Saturday morning I agreed to take something to help take the edge off. It at least wasn't an epidural. This took my pain level from a 10 to a 7. It only lasted about 45 minutes and I wasn't able to take more for 2 hours. I was checked again. I was up to 5 cm. Not the 10 I needed. I was not going to make it. I looked at Kenny and asked him if he thought I should get the epidural. He told me it had to be my decision. I didn't want to disappoint my friend Sherry who had trained me on natural childbirth. I realized that this was the only reason I wasn't getting it anymore. I didn't care about bragging rights anymore. I wasn't worried about it slowing down labor. I had been in labor for 29 hours already, how much slower could it be? I agreed to get the epidural. I saw a wave of relief hit my parents and husband's face.

I cried the whole time through, though not because it hurt. I felt as though I had failed. The nurse we had on was so sweet and told me how hard I had worked and how the best thing for my baby was to make sure I was well enough to bring him or her into the world. Soon it felt as if my lower torso was underwater and I couldn't feel anything that was underwater. I had a contraction and could not even feel it. Once I told this to Kenny he almost instantly feel asleep after having been up for 22 hours straight. I was able to rest a bit, things were cheery. People were more optimistic as the sun was coming up. They gave me an oxygen mask and told me to take deep breaths with it so the baby heart rate wouldn't go down to much. I hated it and took it off every chance I could. At around 11 am the doctor checked and confirmed I was at 10 cms and asked if I wanted to try pushing.

Dad left the room but mom stayed. While I had wanted it to be just Kenny and me, I didn't have the heart to send her from the room. I couldn't feel one of my legs so getting in a squatting position was out of the question. I had my mom lift on one leg, a nurse at the other, the midwife ready to deliver. Ken was right at my back and helped move me forward when it was time to push and help me move back down when it wasn't. He kissed my forehead and told me he was proud. After what seemed like no time the doctor told me she could see baby's hair. I asked the color and she said brown. My baby has brown hair. That was something I new about him or her. More pushing, and I could feel pressure but not much pain. I was always sad to hear the head wasn't crowning yet tough. It felt like the head should be crowning. My mom talked to one the nurses between contractions about the differences in hospitals compared to when she was nursing. The nurse was interested and at times I wanted to remind them there was a baby coming out of me, and maybe they could chat later. The actual doctor came in and told me mid pushing that they could no longer get a read on the baby's heart rate due to how much I was moving so they were going to attach a monitor to the head. I wanted to protest but wasn't given the option to. She attached it and left the room. I didn't like her much.

After an hour or so the baby was crowning and I could feel it. I pushed with all my might and had a room full of supportive people telling me how great I was doing. I pushed out the head, I knew I could push the rest out with the next one. The body felt like it flew right out and I suddenly had this slimy wriggling thing on my chest. It was the oddest sensation. I didn't think "Oh my baby is on me." it was more like the feeling of a warm slimy octopus squirming on me. I had to tell myself, that's a baby. No, that's my baby. I made that. And I pushed it out. It's mine. I then realized I heard crying.  That's my baby's cry. That's what they sound like. The midwife reminded Ken that he could announce what the sex was. "It's a girl!" he said proudly. One of the nurses asked what her name was and I looked down and said I didn't know yet, I'd need some time with her first. I looked at Kenny and he had tears in his eyes, and a smile as big as the one I saw on our wedding day. Mom and one of the other nurses were also tearing up. Then I felt something strange on my lower stomach. "Oh, there's her first poop!" the midwife told me. I laughed, the first thing my daughter did coming into this world was poop on her mom. Once the cord stopped pulsing it was clamped and Ken cut it. The midwife stitched up my small tear and Ken and I were left to be by ourselves with our baby. She latched on and started nursing right away and it was time to talk names.


I apologized to Ken and said she didn't look like an Alice which was his favorite name. I also said she didn't look like a Lillian which was my favorite. She wasn't a Kaylee. She wasn't a Margaret. It came down between Coraline and Clarissa. Ken told me since I did all the work I got the final choice. I went back and forth with it. I thought Clarissa was just a little more her. The nurses came in to get her measurements and dress her.

 

Mom and Dad came in and asked if there was a name yet, I said we were pretty sure it was going to be Clarissa Aurora. More relief came over my mom as she told me she really liked that name. I guess my other name ideas were worrisome for her. I was brought a turkey sandwich for lunch which was nice since I haven't had lunch meats my entire pregnancy. We got moved down the hall for my recovery room which was much bigger and with a private bathroom and two tvs. It was the life of luxury. I checked my phone and was a little annoyed that my mom had already posted my daughter's name on facebook and hoped Ken's parents weren't too mad as when we talked to them we hadn't decided on a name yet. I also wasn't sure Clarissa was her name. I looked down at her and asked "Is your name Clarissa little girl?" when I saw for the very first time a smile. I know it was just a facial tick, but I still took it as a sign. And years from now when she asks why we landed on that name I can tell her that it was the first one she smiled at.

Leaving Red's

I put in my two weeks notice at Red Robin. It was pretty sad actually cause I do work with some pretty cool people there. And they were uber understanding about it all which I think made it worse. My assistant manager John said that he had to take a lot of those the past few weeks and mine was one of the hardest. It is important for me to leave while I'm still doing good and I feel that slipping lately. I haven't been motivated to work as hard there lately, and while I love the people I don't look forward to going into work like I once did. The timing just seems to make sense. While I'm done with my first trimester and I'm no longer feeling nauseous I'm not feeling extra limber either. I have a bit of a bump and my pants no longer button. Kinda a problem when you're having to wear jeans and a tucked in shirt to work. It's only going to get worse from here too. Ken's up for a new job in Morgan Hill and they're sending him an offer letter this week. With this offer will probably be a salary bump. And at very least, his commute will be shorter hence, more gas money saved.

And what will I do with my extra time, you may ask? I have a reading addiction lately, and I'm trying to be more domestic like beyond just doing laundry and dishes. Over my anniversary weekend, which I'll post more on later, I got some yarn for a baby blanket I hope to make. The only problem is I suck at crocheting. I can do straight lines and rectangles. Pretty boring baby blanket. So I got a bunch of crochet books from the library and now I need to actually figure them out. And now I'll actually have time to do that. I have 5 and a half months to get this house baby ready and I'm feeling so little motivation lately to do it. If I can even just put in an hour a day it will become much easier. Also, every Sunday will now be a day off. Woot!

Christmas Eve Surprise

So I think this is going to be a long line of super quiet blogging I do and don't post publicly til much later. This will most likely be posted in March or something. I can assure anyone reading this though that it was written December 25th, 2011.

Christmas Eve was yesterday and given that I had the whole day off I was finally able to go to Ken's grandmother's house for tamale making. I don't like tamales really but that's not important. I got to see all Ken's aunts and cousins (divorce runs high in Ken's family so there wasn't too many uncles). I also got to drink some of Ken's Grandma Stella's famous coffee. I had like three cups. They waited til noon and busted out the wine and beer. No one offered me any though so I stuck to coffee. It was a good time though and I was able to talk sports to Aunt JoJo's boyfriend who is also an Eagles fan.

We got home at 3 and I only have an hour to set up the house before people start coming over for dinner. I went to use the bathroom since I'm full of coffee. Wanting to make sure I was free and clear to drink wine that evening I took a pregnancy test too. This has been a monthly event for me as I'm somewhat irregular. This month I knew I wasn't since it was the month we were too busy to really try for it since I was sick half the month and we both have been working long hours and whatnot. Yet when checking the test I noticed a faint line appearing in the positive column. This must be my mind playing tricks on me. I've been wanting to see a positive for so long I'm making one up in my head. Or this test is broken. Then I see the control line is there too. The positive line is getting ever darker. That is one positive pregnancy test.

"Holy SHIT!" I yell out. Ken asks what I'm yelling about from the other room and I ask him to wait a minute and I run and grab another test to make sure this one isn't a fluke. Sure enough another positive. I take it out to him. He stares at me confused for a moment and I say "You're going to be a dad." A huge smile takes his face and he gives me a big kiss. I'm still shaking and say I need to take another one to be sure. Third once also confirms I am with child. I string out a line of profanities which is very in like me but I'm in shock.

Then it sets in that our families are on the way over and we need to get ready and also not tell them for another 2 months. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do, by the way. The dinner actually turned out very well though and I was freaked out by how often the conversation turned to pregnant talk. It was also fun explaining why I wasn't drinking alcohol or coffee. I was already upset by how much coffee and caffeinated tea I've had the last few weeks. Reading up on it later though the caffeine only increases the miscarriage possibility, so if this baby stays around it won't be hurt by it. Luckily I had a cold so I can say I wasn't drinking cause I didn't want to mix it with my medicine I was taking for it. As for coffee, I didn't want to have any since I'd be going to bed soon.

Our families left and we were able to reflect on the wonderful news we had. I tried emailing my doctor to set up an appointment but it being the holidays, she's on leave. Once again I'm playing the waiting game. I just hope and pray that this is real, that he or she stays in there until August. There's so much to do, but I really think we're ready for it. It is really the best Christmas present I've ever gotten.

The Great Name Change

I wrestled with my decision on changing my name after marriage. I'm a Sullivan, born and raised. It's not only awesomely Irish (much like myself) but it gives off a sense of elegance, legacy, importance (much unlike myself, but something I can at least strive for). It's beautiful. It's sophisticated. It's cause for laugh when people mispronounce it. It's well known. I love it. I just plain love it.

Then I meet Ken. He's wonderful. He's my soul mate. He's going to be the man I spend my life with. He has the last name Mendez. Mendez is not awesomely Irish. It's ethnic in it's own right, but not in the way I am. I'm a freckled face red headed, blue eyed, pale skinned girl. Nothing about my looks says Mendez. I know we could both just keep our own names, but I want to be a family. I want our kids to have the same last name as both of us. Ken being the loving man he is offered to take my last name. I seriously considered this. Ken looks more like a Sullivan than I do a Mendez. And it's not like Ken's family's attached to the name. Ken's mom went through the same thing when she married his dad who was also willing to take her name. But like my mother in law, I too realized that anyone that wonderful deserved to be honored.

So the decision is made. I too will be a Mendez. As for Sullivan? Well I never liked my old middle name anyways. Now to make the decision legal. First was the headache of trying to find out where the marriage license was. I thought it was left at the church but no one from the church could tell me such. Turns out the church was on top of things and turned it in already. I was able to pick it up no problem. Fast forward through 3 busy weeks and I realize I should actually start to change my name before we get to our 1st anniversary. They say the best first stop is going to the social security office. Apparently there's an office in Gilroy. I got there about 9:25, by 9:30 I was talking to someone. I got to answer all kinds of fun questions to prove who I was. I say this sarcastically of course as I just answered my parents names and the city I was born in. I guess that's enough these days. We did have this fun exchange:

SS lady: Now, the next question is voluntary. We are wondering what ethnicity-
Me: I'm white.
SS lady: Thank you. I hate having to do that whole spiel.

That was all. I'll get my card in about 2 weeks. Feeling like I was on a role I headed over to the dreaded DMV. I got a spot right in front. I walk in and get my form to have a new license. As stressed out as I was filling out the form (Do I put my new name or my old name? I don't want to ask the lady at the desk, she seemed mean and annoyed I didn't know where to take a number...), I turned it in and went to sit down only to be called to a window right away. They took my form, renewed my license after a quick test, and took a new picture. I wished that I had put on some make up or at least brushed my hair. But the lady was nice and said the picture looked fine. So I walked out of the DMV within 30 minutes. The entire name change process took only an hour, and that was counting driving down to Gilroy. I don't know what all these crazy women are complaining about. That was a breeze.

Happy New Years

So 2011 is upon us. Should be a good one for me. Before the first quarter of it is up I'll be married, going to Disneyworld, and moved in to my new house. Oh yeah, by the way, I have a new house. A house! Like a real live house with doors and walls and mortgage payments and yay! The house is going through some cosmetic changes right now, once it starts looking more put together I'll post pictures. Here's one to tide you over in the meanwhile:

The front probably won't change too much other than the possibility of getting a mailbox that says "The Mendez's" or something like that. So with that awesomeness in mind, here are my New Years Resolutions:

1. Make this house my own. I've been going through paint and carpet samples like crazy. I have the first ideas picked out. This weekend I should get to paint and once it's up on the walls I'll probably have a better idea. But I get to paint and that's awesome. I can put all the holes in the wall I want without worrying about lost deposits. Ken's got some great ideas too that I'm looking forward to seeing in the flesh. February will be much less stressful than January.

2. Read a book per month. I've checked out dozens of books this year, I think I've only finished two, and even that might be generous. I want to be more well read. I work at a library for crying out loud. The first book I'm reading: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I've seen it many times, but never actually read the story. I think I can knock it out by February. I'll welcome suggestions as to my next month's book.

3. Do one project per month. I finished my shark scarf last year. Took me almost two years to do it. That's stupid. I made a new one for a friend within a week. I think if I put the pressure on I can get some great stuff made. My first project is a Christmas ordainment (notice my procrastination). Should be a nice easy start to boost my confidence.

That's all I got. Last year I only had 1 which was to plan my wedding, which I mostly did. I still have some more details to smooth out on that one, but yeah. Small lists are more doable. Lets see if I keep it up. Wish me luck!

Our big purchase

So in the craziness of being 4 months away for a wedding which now every family member I know and a few I don't is planning on attending, Ken and I decide it's time to buy a house. This is a big step, biggest purchase we'll ever make, and we somehow got through the hardest part in 3 days. Sunday our realtor Juan took us out to look at houses. We told him the key points: price range, minimum bed/bath, and most importantly: must be in Morgan Hill. It is pigeon holding us a bit not to search down in Gilroy or San Martin, but Morgan Hill is our home and there's no denying that. Juan showed 6 out of 16 houses that met our criteria. It would have been 7 but the first house on the list was right across from my parents house. Being that close to my brother would have driven me bonkers.

1st one was blah. It was a bank owned house that had the charm of an abandoned department store, complete with boarded up windows. Yeah, there was potential there, it had 4 beds 2 baths, was right down the street from Kenny's cousin/ future babysitter, nice backyard, but there was warmth missing. Might have had something to do with there being no carpets anywhere on site. Lets keep looking.

2nd house also had potential. 4 beds and three baths this time, dining room area, pretty foyer, nice backyard, lots of parking, cool garage. Needed some loving care, but nothing we couldn't handle. Great price...but also connected to the house next to it. As it was on a corner you could barely tell and really didn't seem much closer than my parents house is to their neighbors. I took some pictures and promised to keep an open mind about if this was meant to be our dream home.

3rd house was a glorified townhome. Not that there's anything wrong with townhouses, but if they're going to be a townhouse they should fess up to it. I don't think I could have fit on the side of the house. We didn't actually get to see the inside of the house as they were having plumbing problems and would rather us look another day, but I had seen enough. It was on the "bad side" of Morgan Hill, which means just a few more loitering teens than the good side, but was missing charm that the 2nd house's neighborhood had.

4th house also had people living there. Adorable neighborhood and a beautiful shady tree out front. I walked in and was instantly reminded of houses of the east coast. So many windows looked out to the most well maintained back yard I've ever seen. Bird feeders and wind chimes hung from beautiful trellises while trees shaded the cleanly cut grass. Inside was charming as well. A tiny kitchen next to an adorable breakfast nook which looked into a sunken in den with a fireplace. "I'd have a hard time painting over this" Ken told me from the bedroom. I enter to see a forest scene straight out of Sleeping Beauty painted on the wall. Curtains covered the closets. Candle sconces placed perfectly throughout the house. Ken reminded me most of the stuff would be going with them and I was sadden. "But I could get my own replacements. In fact my green curtains would look perfect in here..." I thought to myself before realizing I was already mentally moving in. I didn't want to leave. There were other houses to see but I was done wanting to look at them. Much like when I started dating Kenny I was done dating. When I tried on my wedding dress I was done dress shopping. I had found the one. With hesitation we left to look at other houses.

5th house was brand new inside. Huge backyard, giant master bedroom, breakfast nook, new kitchen, new bathroom, cute neighborhood. *Yawn* That house should have been the winner but it wasn't. It didn't have the sunken in living room, didn't have the pretty trellises in the backyard, the eucalyptus tree out front. This was not our house.

Neither was the 6th house despite it's view of Anderson Lake and walk in closet. It didn't matter, my mind was made up and I wanted my pretty little 3 bedroom house.

We set up an appointment the next night to look at the house again with Ken's dad. Once he went over, gave it his blessing, we were ready to make a bid. We asked for 10,000 under asking plus a 6000 credit for closing costs. They countered on Tuesday with an ok, but no more than 2,000 of that can be section 1. We agreed, and it went into pending. No one else can make offers on that house. Then came the waiting for the relocation company to give their blessing. It took nearly a week but we're now in escrow. The only ones who can back out of the sale now is us and I don't think we're going to do that. In as little as 2 months I can be sitting in my living room posting about how awesome life is. As for right now, I'm trying to stay positive that that could happen instead of going to worse case scenarios where the house burns down, or we get robbed, or I don't even know what. I don't think I'll get a full nights sleep though until it's inside our new house.

I have a home!

I'm up way too early and I hardly slept at all last night. Last night, Ken and I got the apartment in Morgan Hill. It's a beautiful (well, decent anyways) 2 bed/2 bath upstairs apartment and it's ours. Not his and his roommates, not my parents, but ours. In fact, it's more mine than his at this point since I put down the deposit by myself. Holy shit, I'm becoming a real grownup.


A little backround for any of my 3 readers out of the loop on why this is so big for me: I "moved" in with Ken back in July when my dad came back from his 3 month east coast trip to learn how to get sober....completely hammered. Realizing that I spent almost all of my free time with Ken and not wanting my dad to be sent away again, I tell dad to move into my room. Mom probably hates dad more for this having "run me out of the house" despite the fact that since Ken and I have gotten together, we've maybe spent 10 nights apart and we're going on a year pretty soon and I half used the giving dad my room as an excuse to move out without having dad hit the roof. Since then I've confined myself to Ken's room whenever I'm home and he's not. His roommate doesn't have a job so is always around and I didn't want to get in his way...like at all. I know that when he signed up to live with Ken for the 7th or 8th year in a row (they've been roommates since Ken's second year of college) he didn't expect Ken have a chick move in as my lovely fiance wasn't exactly a lady's man. Because my fear of upsetting the roommate, we have rarely used the kitchen or living room and have either eaten out or ordered in for almost every single meal eaten here. I know, it's rediculous, but it's how I feel and I'm beyond thrilled that that time is almost over.


That's why I love this apartment so much: I'm going from 1 bedroom to 6. I'm getting a bedroom complete with a walk in closet (oh the shoes that will fill it!) and a bathroom with an outside sink and vanity. No more trying to do my makeup while Ken's in the shower steaming up the mirror.

Then there's the living room, complete with a wood buring fireplace. We've already planned on buying a flat screen to put above it so we can enjoy both a fire and a movie, or maybe a movie about a fire since that would be nice and ironic. But it's a whole other room that I'm allowed to go in because I live there, I signed the paper, my name is on the mailbox, well, metaphorically speaking anyways.

There's a kitchen where I can use the coffee pot Ken's parents got me for christmas and the Kitchen Aid mixer that they got him. We have bar stools already that we can put up to the bar and eat our meals there since there are two of us living there. There's a dining area to put that table his parents have been holding for him for years. We can have people over for dinner for a change and use our beautiful china we bought ourselves as an engagement gift.There's a washer and dryer, and a linen closet (yet another place for shoes as we don't have too many linens). There's a whole second bath room, like a whole one, not one of those half assed numbers with just a toilet and a sink. There's a tub! We could both take a bath at the same time without junk being squashed.

Finally, there's a second bedroom that we don't even know what to do with. We've considered making it another walk in closet, but realistically I think it's going to be our office, perhaps with a futon in it for when Dan comes visiting.

The bottom line is this is a place we found together and it's one of the few things that's going to be ours that wasn't mine or his first or wasn't bought by one of us as a gift to the other. It's a home that we're going to fill with stuff and decorate and really live in, not just sleep at. So I guess it's no wonder I got no sleep last night, people usually don't sleep well when they're away from home.