The Great Name Change

I wrestled with my decision on changing my name after marriage. I'm a Sullivan, born and raised. It's not only awesomely Irish (much like myself) but it gives off a sense of elegance, legacy, importance (much unlike myself, but something I can at least strive for). It's beautiful. It's sophisticated. It's cause for laugh when people mispronounce it. It's well known. I love it. I just plain love it.

Then I meet Ken. He's wonderful. He's my soul mate. He's going to be the man I spend my life with. He has the last name Mendez. Mendez is not awesomely Irish. It's ethnic in it's own right, but not in the way I am. I'm a freckled face red headed, blue eyed, pale skinned girl. Nothing about my looks says Mendez. I know we could both just keep our own names, but I want to be a family. I want our kids to have the same last name as both of us. Ken being the loving man he is offered to take my last name. I seriously considered this. Ken looks more like a Sullivan than I do a Mendez. And it's not like Ken's family's attached to the name. Ken's mom went through the same thing when she married his dad who was also willing to take her name. But like my mother in law, I too realized that anyone that wonderful deserved to be honored.

So the decision is made. I too will be a Mendez. As for Sullivan? Well I never liked my old middle name anyways. Now to make the decision legal. First was the headache of trying to find out where the marriage license was. I thought it was left at the church but no one from the church could tell me such. Turns out the church was on top of things and turned it in already. I was able to pick it up no problem. Fast forward through 3 busy weeks and I realize I should actually start to change my name before we get to our 1st anniversary. They say the best first stop is going to the social security office. Apparently there's an office in Gilroy. I got there about 9:25, by 9:30 I was talking to someone. I got to answer all kinds of fun questions to prove who I was. I say this sarcastically of course as I just answered my parents names and the city I was born in. I guess that's enough these days. We did have this fun exchange:

SS lady: Now, the next question is voluntary. We are wondering what ethnicity-
Me: I'm white.
SS lady: Thank you. I hate having to do that whole spiel.

That was all. I'll get my card in about 2 weeks. Feeling like I was on a role I headed over to the dreaded DMV. I got a spot right in front. I walk in and get my form to have a new license. As stressed out as I was filling out the form (Do I put my new name or my old name? I don't want to ask the lady at the desk, she seemed mean and annoyed I didn't know where to take a number...), I turned it in and went to sit down only to be called to a window right away. They took my form, renewed my license after a quick test, and took a new picture. I wished that I had put on some make up or at least brushed my hair. But the lady was nice and said the picture looked fine. So I walked out of the DMV within 30 minutes. The entire name change process took only an hour, and that was counting driving down to Gilroy. I don't know what all these crazy women are complaining about. That was a breeze.

First post as a Mrs.

Well gentle readers, I'm back from the busy void that was my wedding and honeymoon and recovering from said wedding and honeymoon. Married life is super awesome. The other morning my husband got up early to make me breakfast and hot tea before I had to be at work at 8. He's pretty damned awesome and I still can't believe my luck that he decided I was worthy of his love. I might be posting on the wedding or honeymoon at some point, but seeing as all 1 of my readers attended the wedding and saw the pictures of the honeymoon on facebook, there might not be much point.

Anyways, now's where the real fun begins. I'm a grown up. I got married, got a house, really all that's left is kids, and I don't want that yet...I don't think. Time to also keep good on my resolutions. I haven't read any books yet, and it being almost May, I need to read 5 this month to keep up. I'll keep you posted on how that goes. The good news is my creative projects are actually caught up on. I'll keep you posted on those too.

So this post is kinda boring I know, but it's a promise of better things to come. I've been pretty addicted to Rotten Tomatoes Top 5 count down, been thinking of doing a few of those myself too. Lets see if I follow through. Goodnight, everybody!

Happy New Years

So 2011 is upon us. Should be a good one for me. Before the first quarter of it is up I'll be married, going to Disneyworld, and moved in to my new house. Oh yeah, by the way, I have a new house. A house! Like a real live house with doors and walls and mortgage payments and yay! The house is going through some cosmetic changes right now, once it starts looking more put together I'll post pictures. Here's one to tide you over in the meanwhile:

The front probably won't change too much other than the possibility of getting a mailbox that says "The Mendez's" or something like that. So with that awesomeness in mind, here are my New Years Resolutions:

1. Make this house my own. I've been going through paint and carpet samples like crazy. I have the first ideas picked out. This weekend I should get to paint and once it's up on the walls I'll probably have a better idea. But I get to paint and that's awesome. I can put all the holes in the wall I want without worrying about lost deposits. Ken's got some great ideas too that I'm looking forward to seeing in the flesh. February will be much less stressful than January.

2. Read a book per month. I've checked out dozens of books this year, I think I've only finished two, and even that might be generous. I want to be more well read. I work at a library for crying out loud. The first book I'm reading: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens. I've seen it many times, but never actually read the story. I think I can knock it out by February. I'll welcome suggestions as to my next month's book.

3. Do one project per month. I finished my shark scarf last year. Took me almost two years to do it. That's stupid. I made a new one for a friend within a week. I think if I put the pressure on I can get some great stuff made. My first project is a Christmas ordainment (notice my procrastination). Should be a nice easy start to boost my confidence.

That's all I got. Last year I only had 1 which was to plan my wedding, which I mostly did. I still have some more details to smooth out on that one, but yeah. Small lists are more doable. Lets see if I keep it up. Wish me luck!

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Just sending some holiday cheer out there to my two readers. I guess I should say Happy Hannakuh as well for half my readership. I was going to wait til I had something official to post (we close escrow on Christmas eve), but I realize that I shouldn't just post when things are good or bad but in between. Since really, isn't that what life's all about? Just waiting for the next thing to happen.

So what has my in between life been up to lately? I was actually well on top of things this Christmas. Had 90% of my gifts bought and wrapped by last week. 70% were actually done about a month ago. I've never been a big Christmas fan. I saw it as a massive headache of buying presents for a bunch of people, some you want to shop for and some you don't. Either way, it costs money and causes stress. There's also the added fun of having two families now. Trying not to let my old family know I prefer the new since they have better games and cook dinner before 7.

Last year was fun but stressful. Ken and I were living in San Jose and came down Christmas eve where I worked at maries in the morning, and headed to my folks house while my mom avoided the rest of us and my uncle awkwardly watched movies with my brother and I while my dad fumbled around the kitchen. Christmas day was spent with Ken's folks with mimosas, great gifts and food, and fun people for the most part. We did have to sleep in the trailer that night as all the beds in the house were taken.

This year I'm excited. We live 2 blocks away from both sets of parents and I have BOTH DAYS OFF! One for my fam and one for his. When asking them about this ages ago my mom brushed off saying she didn't care. Flash forward to the week before Christmas and now spending Christmas eve with them isn't enough. I promised them Christmas dinner next year. Eventually we'll get to the point where we can just invite them over our place and if they don't make it no biggie. Even so, I'm not letting it get me down. I'm full of the holiday cheer. I got great gifts for my family, two fun filled days planed, and a potential cat play date looming. And who knows, maybe there will be house keys in my stocking this year :-)

Our big purchase

So in the craziness of being 4 months away for a wedding which now every family member I know and a few I don't is planning on attending, Ken and I decide it's time to buy a house. This is a big step, biggest purchase we'll ever make, and we somehow got through the hardest part in 3 days. Sunday our realtor Juan took us out to look at houses. We told him the key points: price range, minimum bed/bath, and most importantly: must be in Morgan Hill. It is pigeon holding us a bit not to search down in Gilroy or San Martin, but Morgan Hill is our home and there's no denying that. Juan showed 6 out of 16 houses that met our criteria. It would have been 7 but the first house on the list was right across from my parents house. Being that close to my brother would have driven me bonkers.

1st one was blah. It was a bank owned house that had the charm of an abandoned department store, complete with boarded up windows. Yeah, there was potential there, it had 4 beds 2 baths, was right down the street from Kenny's cousin/ future babysitter, nice backyard, but there was warmth missing. Might have had something to do with there being no carpets anywhere on site. Lets keep looking.

2nd house also had potential. 4 beds and three baths this time, dining room area, pretty foyer, nice backyard, lots of parking, cool garage. Needed some loving care, but nothing we couldn't handle. Great price...but also connected to the house next to it. As it was on a corner you could barely tell and really didn't seem much closer than my parents house is to their neighbors. I took some pictures and promised to keep an open mind about if this was meant to be our dream home.

3rd house was a glorified townhome. Not that there's anything wrong with townhouses, but if they're going to be a townhouse they should fess up to it. I don't think I could have fit on the side of the house. We didn't actually get to see the inside of the house as they were having plumbing problems and would rather us look another day, but I had seen enough. It was on the "bad side" of Morgan Hill, which means just a few more loitering teens than the good side, but was missing charm that the 2nd house's neighborhood had.

4th house also had people living there. Adorable neighborhood and a beautiful shady tree out front. I walked in and was instantly reminded of houses of the east coast. So many windows looked out to the most well maintained back yard I've ever seen. Bird feeders and wind chimes hung from beautiful trellises while trees shaded the cleanly cut grass. Inside was charming as well. A tiny kitchen next to an adorable breakfast nook which looked into a sunken in den with a fireplace. "I'd have a hard time painting over this" Ken told me from the bedroom. I enter to see a forest scene straight out of Sleeping Beauty painted on the wall. Curtains covered the closets. Candle sconces placed perfectly throughout the house. Ken reminded me most of the stuff would be going with them and I was sadden. "But I could get my own replacements. In fact my green curtains would look perfect in here..." I thought to myself before realizing I was already mentally moving in. I didn't want to leave. There were other houses to see but I was done wanting to look at them. Much like when I started dating Kenny I was done dating. When I tried on my wedding dress I was done dress shopping. I had found the one. With hesitation we left to look at other houses.

5th house was brand new inside. Huge backyard, giant master bedroom, breakfast nook, new kitchen, new bathroom, cute neighborhood. *Yawn* That house should have been the winner but it wasn't. It didn't have the sunken in living room, didn't have the pretty trellises in the backyard, the eucalyptus tree out front. This was not our house.

Neither was the 6th house despite it's view of Anderson Lake and walk in closet. It didn't matter, my mind was made up and I wanted my pretty little 3 bedroom house.

We set up an appointment the next night to look at the house again with Ken's dad. Once he went over, gave it his blessing, we were ready to make a bid. We asked for 10,000 under asking plus a 6000 credit for closing costs. They countered on Tuesday with an ok, but no more than 2,000 of that can be section 1. We agreed, and it went into pending. No one else can make offers on that house. Then came the waiting for the relocation company to give their blessing. It took nearly a week but we're now in escrow. The only ones who can back out of the sale now is us and I don't think we're going to do that. In as little as 2 months I can be sitting in my living room posting about how awesome life is. As for right now, I'm trying to stay positive that that could happen instead of going to worse case scenarios where the house burns down, or we get robbed, or I don't even know what. I don't think I'll get a full nights sleep though until it's inside our new house.

Always look on the bright side of life...

I'm making the decision to be positive. It's been a rough time for me lately. I have what I like to refer to as "white people problems" (Louis CK). I'm stressed that it's cheaper for us to buy a house then live in our apartment for another year. That my wedding and my moving into my first house will be so close together. That my bridesmaids are all fighting with each other cause each one wants to help out the most with the bridal showers. I have two families that I need to split the holidays between. Both of my jobs are giving me lots of hours and I have to work a lot. AND, as if that weren't bad enough I have to fly out to Chicago for a long weekend for a wedding in a month. Nobody knows my pain....

In all seriousness though I am burnt out. I'm so tired, have miles to go before I sleep, and feel my friend circle getting smaller by the minute. This is partly cause of the bridal party just not getting along, partly cause I'm feeling so burnt out I don't go out of my way to make plans with people like I used to, partly because no matter how hard I try or all the progress I think I'm making with someone, they're just not going to like me and I have to be ok with that. This is where my decision to be happy comes in. As I type this out I'm having a conversation with a friend who's scared she did something to mess up our friendship and I'm almost laughing at the thought we wouldn't be friends. It's nice having that kind of security. Life's too short to waste on undeserving stress and mean people. Someone doesn't want to be my friend? Fine, their loss. I'll be hanging out with one of my others. Centerpieces not working the way I want to? The candles will look just fine, and there will be more focus on me and Ken this way. Having to buy a house now instead of a year from now when loan rates might be up above 5%? Well, I answered that already didn't I? No more worry wrinkles. No more crying. Bring on the good times, I'm ready!

A little older and a little wiser

Well hello being old. I guess 26 isn't that much older than 25 cept now 30 looks ever so close. I mean I guess I can look at the bright side of life, I'm pretty much where I thought I'd be at 26. Well maybe I thought I'd be married already, but the wedding's only a few months off. We're in the early stages of house hunting. We have an adorable kitten. And really we're just putting off kids until we want them. I got a good job, an amazing partner, and a shiny new laptop for my birthday. Huh, I didn't mean for this to start off as a brag about how awesome my life is, but it would seem it has turned into such.

I usually treat birthday's like a form of new years where I make resolutions as to what I'd like see happen in the next year. This next year I can check getting married off the list, but I feel like there's more that I should be working towards. Blogging might be part of there. I have fun reading other's blogs and wish I was more witty/ motivated/ interesting enough to have a blog that others would want to follow. I'm a very social person and have been feeling increasingly antisocial lately. I'm still not sure if this is good or bad. This is the first year that I can remember where I did not have a birthday party. Really, I doubt I'd even be noticing it at all if my family and Ken's family didn't insist on having me over for dinner or what not. Last year I spent my birthday in disneyland getting engaged, this one's bound to be less noteworthy. I think I prefer that though. Like I bragged about early, I have a great life, I have everything I could want. There's no need for presents when I'm going to be getting wedding gifts in a few months. Ken provides me with anything I could want and couldn't afford, and really, there isn't much I would want and not be able to afford.

Maybe this is maturity. I have an acquaintance that spread his birthday out over three days cause he wasn't satisfied with how the first or second attempt went. This dude's in his 30s. That is just so sad to me, but I look at his life and kinda understand it. He's got a part time go nowhere job, no girlfriend, not too many people who could stand him, but who would deny a birthday boy a drink or a pat on the back. He had to milk that sucker for all it's worth. I guess I don't need the attention or the free drinks and gifts because if I wanted to do what I'm doing on my birthday I could, everyday. That's pretty effing cool. So at 27 I want to be here too, maybe in a house vs an apartment, maybe with a bun in the oven, maybe getting more hours at the library, but certainly with another ring on my finger. And certainly with the same awesome people leaving 15+ happy birthday messages on my facebook before 9. Happy birthday, me.

To quit or not to quit

Hello my readers, the both of you! I am indeed still alive and well. Haven't posted lately cause there was really nothing to post about. Still working my two jobs, though I'm pretty sure I'll be going down to one soon enough. Red Robins was a great restaurant to work for, I'm just not sure if I'm still in the waitressing point in my life. I just read a fun book called "Waiter's rant" that would put me back and forth from wanting to waitress to wanting to run as far away as I could. The book explains it so well. Waiting tables is a form of gambling, sometimes you get a great pay out for doing minimal work, sometimes you can work your ass off to only get a 2 buck tip. Also something that sucks is at a restaurant, like most jobs, competency is punished. I'm always a closer cause I can handle it. Meaning two to three nights a week I don't get to see my fiance cause I don't get home til close to midnight. I'm also stressing to juggle both jobs with the schedules changing all the time. It would be far easier with just one. But then there's the money aspect. My dress is paid off, but my honeymoons not. Maybe I should hold off on quitting til that is. Though who knows what I'm gonna want to save for after that...

New thing I'm trying

So I don't know if the two of you who read this have noticed, but I don't post on here at all. I try to, but can't think of much to say that I don't already say on facebook. Here's my idea, I'll take my posts on facebook and talk about them in greater detail here. It will also give me the chance to have the opportunity to be more vague there and let things off my chest here where no one will see it. Ok, so here's the first one:

"Julie is constantly amazed at both how much cheaper and tastier cooking at home is than eating out at a restaurant is."
June 30th

Sunday night when trying to decide on what to have for dinner, Ken and I started looking through cookbooks and decided to try a new recipe. I found one for steaks and a wine sauce. We walked over to the store, bought any ingredients needed for it, over all $14. After much cursing and fretting in the kitchen, I emerged with a delicious dinner. I made a recipe not taught to me by my mom or middle school cooking class. It was good, and as a bonus I got to drink the rest of the open wine along with it.

Empowered by this success, last night I tried mac and cheese. It was quite the adventure at the store, looking for Colby cheese and only finding Colby jack, worried that would ruin everything. Searching high and low for bread crumbs. But $18 later I was home starting a meal that I usually left up to Kraft. Ken had arrived home sooner than I anticipated so I set to work on the meal without premeasuring out everything I'd need. Big mistake since some of the steps require only cooking it 30 seconds before throwing in 3 more ingredients. More cussing ensued, especially since our kitty Logan who believes we only go into the kitchen to get him cat food and was meowing nonstop at my feet. Still, finished product came out amazingly tasty and now Ken has lunch for work for the rest of the week. Now to decide what to make for Thursday :-)

Life lessons from a show about serial killers....

While watching the first season of Dexter on Netflix (and dear lord, how did I go a whole year without netflix? I forgot how awesome it is), and his girlfriend is a former victim of an abusive husband. The husband (played by Jacob from Lost which is all I see him as) comes back after spending a few years in prison and is trying to win her back and become a father to his kids. I just can't help but thinking if I were in the situation I'd have a really hard time not giving the guy a second chance. I'm sure I wouldn't enter into a relationship with him again, but I do love believing in the best of people, and that people can change. So it's probably a good thing that I was never in an abusive relationship and I can surround myself with people who are good to me.