What could have been...

I have a habit of rewatching old tv shows I've already seen a million times from start to finish. I do this most often with simpsons as they're the perfect show to put on before I go to sleep since I've seen them so many times I don't have to watch the screen, I see it all in my head anyways and I get to drift off to dreamland all the easier. While I'm awake and doing something I need to pay a little more attention to, such as crocheting, I like having something on in the background that I can passively be amused by. After going through Veronica Mars, Community, Firefly (which took no time), I stumbled upon Scrubs again. About 5, maybe 6 years ago I loved Scrubs. Couldn't get enough of it. Since then everytime I watch an episode here or there I've had this weird feeling that I couldn't shake. Like I shouldn't be watching it. I finally realized what it was.

When I first discovered Scrubs it was also a favorite show of a coworker of mine. He cracked me up, we got along really well and it became a bonding thing for us. When he'd have parties at his house we'd play the Scrubs drinking game. Both of us were single and I was told by another coworker that he had a crush on me. I wasn't exactly sure my feelings, but I couldn't say I wouldn't have given it a try. Nothing ever happened between us though. Maybe it's because he wasn't actually interested in me, but I am sure if he made a move, something would have happened.

Watching Scrubs takes me back to that feeling of uncertainty. That feeling like, all the right parts are there, why aren't we dating? There are a few other guys here or there that I sometimes wonder "what if" with.  What if I had asked him out, or gone in for a kiss? Would we now be together? Would it have ruined our friendship completely? Would it have saved me the embarrassment of those other douches I dated? Or maybe they'd just look at me like I was crazy for reading into something that wasn't there. Obviously, I love my husband and I am so glad that things worked out the way they did, but I do wonder if he still thinks of me when he watches Scrubs. I guess I just hope that I affected someone the way they affected me.

Random Musing

I really kinda want an office job in my life. I feel like my job as a file clerk 5 years ago was completely wasted. I have so many interesting thoughts I want to share with the world, yet sadly no time to share them with my busy go-go lifestyle. Well, not so go-go, but I certainly don't get to use a computer at work. Sad times.

Now I have a whole messa fun posts I want to write but by the time I have enough free time to sit down and write them, I have forgotten what it was I wanted to say. I have a few great posts planned and once school is done and I've quit my other less exciting jobs, I'll have lots of time to write, that is assuming the boyfriend doesn't take up all my free time. I think once we get to see each other more than just 3 waking hours a day he'll tire a bit of me. That's how relationships work right? It's been so long since I was in a good healthy one I can't remember.

Anyways, fear not, gentle reader. Julie's pearls of wisdom shall be more abundant soon enough...

Karma

Yes, yes, I missed Fun Fact Friday, but that's cause I've had an action packed weekend, so I hope all 1 or 2 of you who read this will forgive me. Today I'm going to be discussing Karma. Bet you didn't see that one coming with the title and all. I'm a believer of Karma, it must be the Libra in me. I think the universe balances itself out, that good things can happen to good people, and that bad things can happen to bad people. I also believe that too much bad luck will lead to a pleasant change of events. Sadly, this means too much good luck will lead to some bad times. This was certainly true this weekend. I had a fantastic Thursday night only to be followed by a horrible Friday morning.

I'm wondering if maybe this isn't all in my head though. Good and bad things happen all the time, they don't have to be related. Maybe it's my way of cheering myself up when things get tough. Don't worry, something good's bound to happen soon. Or my way of not being able to enjoy happy times since I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop. There may be no shoes at all. Either way, I'm intrigued by it and like to think my good deeds will be rewarded. So maybe I should just stick to being a good person just in case and when good things happen, enjoy them because it's earned.

Random Musing before work

I sometimes wonder how much I am affected by what I am told I am verses what I actually am. For example, I am a Libra. By definition I am social, outgoing, dramatic, and fair and balanced. I consider myself all of those things. I don't know if it was because when I was young I read about what Libra's are and decided to make myself have those traits or if I naturally had them. Still, I just took a "which tarot card are you?" and I got the Justice card. The scales. Granted one of the questions was what is your sign? but there were a whole bunch of other questions that I'm sure were there for a reason. I don't know if I'm reading too much into it, but ever since watching Dollhouse I've started questioning what makes up our persona. It will at least be something to ponder while I serve happy couples at work tonight.