I have a habit of rewatching old tv shows I've already seen a million times from start to finish. I do this most often with simpsons as they're the perfect show to put on before I go to sleep since I've seen them so many times I don't have to watch the screen, I see it all in my head anyways and I get to drift off to dreamland all the easier. While I'm awake and doing something I need to pay a little more attention to, such as crocheting, I like having something on in the background that I can passively be amused by. After going through Veronica Mars, Community, Firefly (which took no time), I stumbled upon Scrubs again. About 5, maybe 6 years ago I loved Scrubs. Couldn't get enough of it. Since then everytime I watch an episode here or there I've had this weird feeling that I couldn't shake. Like I shouldn't be watching it. I finally realized what it was.
When I first discovered Scrubs it was also a favorite show of a coworker of mine. He cracked me up, we got along really well and it became a bonding thing for us. When he'd have parties at his house we'd play the Scrubs drinking game. Both of us were single and I was told by another coworker that he had a crush on me. I wasn't exactly sure my feelings, but I couldn't say I wouldn't have given it a try. Nothing ever happened between us though. Maybe it's because he wasn't actually interested in me, but I am sure if he made a move, something would have happened.
Watching Scrubs takes me back to that feeling of uncertainty. That feeling like, all the right parts are there, why aren't we dating? There are a few other guys here or there that I sometimes wonder "what if" with. What if I had asked him out, or gone in for a kiss? Would we now be together? Would it have ruined our friendship completely? Would it have saved me the embarrassment of those other douches I dated? Or maybe they'd just look at me like I was crazy for reading into something that wasn't there. Obviously, I love my husband and I am so glad that things worked out the way they did, but I do wonder if he still thinks of me when he watches Scrubs. I guess I just hope that I affected someone the way they affected me.
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