Reoccuring Dream

Last night I had a dream that I've had a few times before. I'm in a city and trying to get back to my car in a bad neighborhood. Each street I walk down takes me further away from where I know my car is. I keep wanting to go back the other way but for some reason I don't. Then I get held up by a gun with a gun, but I still resist. The dream is over before anything happens, but it's still unsettling. This dream was a little different too since my boyfriend was there with me, but he wasn't my current boyfriend, he was my ex, but it was still meant to be the current one and I was really really worried that I wasn't attracted to him. I don't know if my subconcious is worried that I eventually won't be attracted to my boyfriend or something like that, but it was a little worrisome. But oh well, it's over now.

Weddings

First off, is it just me or is everyone getting married this year? I've been invited to 3 so far this year alone, and a very probably 4th next spring. Of these 3, I'm a bridesmaid for 2. This sounded fun and glamourous at first but there are things I didn't take into account. The bridesmaid dress I had planned for, but I had no idea how hard it would be. One of the dresses is supposed to be white, the other black. This is nice in the fact that I'll be able to wear them again and such, but do you know how hard it is to find bridesmaid dresses in those colors? Then I also had the pleasure in planning my friends bridal shower. This too seemed good in theory, but scheduling it at a time where her mom was in the country and her fiance's family wasn't expecting a baby to pop out an any minute proved quite difficult. I have to wonder if they're really that worth it. That said, I'm totally having a wedding. How else can I pay back my bridesmaids?

Guy "Friends"

I have a lot of guy friends. I'm pretty sure they outnumber my girl friends 3 to 1. For the most part, they're completely platonic friendships. We honestly just enjoy each other's company and talk about movies, sports, whatever really. I consider myself not a tomboy, but rather a girl that is very guy minded. These days I prefer beer to mixed drinks, watching hockey to watching Grey's Anatomy, and always insist on splitting the cost of things in relationships. Not to sound completely full of myself, but I think I'm a pretty fun chick to hang out with. And not to sound even more full of myself, I think a lot of my friends would agree. Yet, I notice a shift in almost all of their attitudes with one simple change in my life: they get more distant when I have a boyfriend.

To be absolutely fair, a good number of my guy friends I have some kind of romantic history with. Either it was we dated for a while or there was always this unspoken attraction between us or even me pining for them or them pining for me. Still, the majority of these guys are in relationships with other girls and those that I have dated we broke up for a reason and there was plenty of opportunity for us to get back together if we had wanted to. They don't make a play for me when I'm single at all. We never talk about having a relationship. So why should it change now that I'm seeing someone else?

Also, is it their attitudes that are changing or my own? Maybe I'm subconsciously pushing them away so to make room for my new beau to be the most important guy in my life. Either way, it's a little annoying that I no longer feel as close with people who I used to, or that they seem to want to talk to me less or see me less. Who knows, maybe I'm just reading into this way too much and nothing's changed at all. Well, one can hope, right?