Merry Christmas

Another belated post written on the 26th. Christmas morning I woke up at 6:30 too excited to go back to sleep. I found a bunch of pregnancy websites because I have so many questions. I read all the books on how to conceive but none for what to do once I got here. Did you know my baby is the size of a poppy seed right now? I'm kinda amazed that it's big enough to see at all. That is if those tests I took yesterday are even accurate. I did buy them from the dollar store (which according to my research is just fine, but still...) Ken woke up finally at 9 and said good morning to me and good morning to our baby. I told him I'm still not getting excited til I know for sure it's in there.

We headed over to his sister's where we were greeted with "There's a fresh pot of coffee!" Damn it. "Hey Les, do you have any decaff tea?" Ken asks his sister. It seemed blantenly obvious that I must be pregnant cause why else would I turn down delicious coffee for crappy decaffeinated tea. Luckily, I'm just paranoid cause no one seemed to notice and also offered me a mimosa. I made mine myself when no one was looking and may have "forgotten" to put in the champagne.

As we started unwrapping presents, my sister in law put my mimosa on a table and told me that she would remember which was mine. A few presents in I notice in horror that her husband continued to drink from my orange juice mistaking it for his mimosa. Crap, the jig is up, everyone will know. When Leslie noticed this she yelled at Nathan for drinking mine and handed me his. Ken ran interference and said he'd hold my drink while I opened gifts. I'm still super paranoid that Nathan knows since he has now gotten to the bottom of my mimosa and has yet to taste the champagne, but being that he's been through the whole miscarriage thing I think that if he did figure it out, he would have stayed mum about it.

At my parents it wasn't any easier, especially since my parents are huge drinkers. Dad had bought blue moon for me and there were two bottles of red wine on the table for dinner. Also on the table for dinner: crab cakes. Are they safe to eat? Kenny had told me on our way over that it was going to be tough on me not having crab. And there's no way to find out cause I'm at the dinner table and Dad put one on my plate. I had very tiny bites and but my focus on the peas, steak and potatoes. I poured myself a small glass of wine and put it between Kenny and I. It was just enough wine that people wouldn't be offering me more but not too much that Kenny couldn't gulp down once the bottles were empty and we didn't need to worry that it would get refilled. The thing I love about Kenny is he knows exactly what I was doing and he did it perfectly. I love our psychic connections. We somehow made it out ok and I found out when I got home that not only can I eat crab cakes, but it's high in folic acid which is what my baby needs. Oh well. I'll know for the next time I'm secretly pregnant.

Christmas Eve Surprise

So I think this is going to be a long line of super quiet blogging I do and don't post publicly til much later. This will most likely be posted in March or something. I can assure anyone reading this though that it was written December 25th, 2011.

Christmas Eve was yesterday and given that I had the whole day off I was finally able to go to Ken's grandmother's house for tamale making. I don't like tamales really but that's not important. I got to see all Ken's aunts and cousins (divorce runs high in Ken's family so there wasn't too many uncles). I also got to drink some of Ken's Grandma Stella's famous coffee. I had like three cups. They waited til noon and busted out the wine and beer. No one offered me any though so I stuck to coffee. It was a good time though and I was able to talk sports to Aunt JoJo's boyfriend who is also an Eagles fan.

We got home at 3 and I only have an hour to set up the house before people start coming over for dinner. I went to use the bathroom since I'm full of coffee. Wanting to make sure I was free and clear to drink wine that evening I took a pregnancy test too. This has been a monthly event for me as I'm somewhat irregular. This month I knew I wasn't since it was the month we were too busy to really try for it since I was sick half the month and we both have been working long hours and whatnot. Yet when checking the test I noticed a faint line appearing in the positive column. This must be my mind playing tricks on me. I've been wanting to see a positive for so long I'm making one up in my head. Or this test is broken. Then I see the control line is there too. The positive line is getting ever darker. That is one positive pregnancy test.

"Holy SHIT!" I yell out. Ken asks what I'm yelling about from the other room and I ask him to wait a minute and I run and grab another test to make sure this one isn't a fluke. Sure enough another positive. I take it out to him. He stares at me confused for a moment and I say "You're going to be a dad." A huge smile takes his face and he gives me a big kiss. I'm still shaking and say I need to take another one to be sure. Third once also confirms I am with child. I string out a line of profanities which is very in like me but I'm in shock.

Then it sets in that our families are on the way over and we need to get ready and also not tell them for another 2 months. One of the hardest things I've ever had to do, by the way. The dinner actually turned out very well though and I was freaked out by how often the conversation turned to pregnant talk. It was also fun explaining why I wasn't drinking alcohol or coffee. I was already upset by how much coffee and caffeinated tea I've had the last few weeks. Reading up on it later though the caffeine only increases the miscarriage possibility, so if this baby stays around it won't be hurt by it. Luckily I had a cold so I can say I wasn't drinking cause I didn't want to mix it with my medicine I was taking for it. As for coffee, I didn't want to have any since I'd be going to bed soon.

Our families left and we were able to reflect on the wonderful news we had. I tried emailing my doctor to set up an appointment but it being the holidays, she's on leave. Once again I'm playing the waiting game. I just hope and pray that this is real, that he or she stays in there until August. There's so much to do, but I really think we're ready for it. It is really the best Christmas present I've ever gotten.

Festivus

As my friend Pat wisely pointed out, today is Festivus. This is my first Festivus. I'm woefully unprepared for it as I've been preparing for Christmas. I cross stitched a sign for my parents in law as they're currently living in a converted chicken coop which they've named the Coop De Ville along with their 4 cats and 2 dogs. Things did not turn out as symmetrical as I had hopped but I am truly buying in on the it's the thought that counts defense.

And on the note of it's the thought that counts, for Grandma Jeannette I attempted to do a picture of El Toro. It actually turned out a lot better than I was expecting it to, but that's mostly because I haven't taken a painting class since Elementary school. Mostly. It's at least pretty obvious as to what it's supposed to be a picture of which is always the biggest challenge.

For my brother I'm actually pretty impressed with the final product. He's lately taken to pretending his a sharks fan since that's what all his friends are. To his credit he's watched every game this season and texted me the scores, not taking into account that I don't want him to (see my grievances below). He's finally admitted that he can't be a Ducks fan as well. But yeah, I still don't fully buy it. That said, it was a good excuse to paint the truly awesome logo that is the Sharks.

Anyways, onto the subject of the post. It's Festivus, and while I don't have a festivus pole I can at least take part in the other two parts of the holiday by having a feat of strength and air my grievances. I will wrestle Kenny to the ground later tonight, probably while he's not paying attention so I can win. Here are my grievances of the year:

1. My friends or lack there of. This year sucked balls for me and my friends. I'm facing the new years with fewer than I started. This doesn't bother me so much. People grow apart. I guess what bothers me is the friends I thought I could rely on turned out to hurt me the most. I feel stupid for putting my trust in the wrong people.

2. My promotion being ever out of reach. We have three library workers retiring this year. My supervisor advised me to apply for one of their old jobs. If I get it I have more hours, a raise, and more responsibility. I could quit my second job. I applied for the job a few months ago and haven't heard anything about it since.

3. My parents on again off again divorce. Dad doesn't want it, Mom does when she feels like she's not getting enough attention. I don't know what to believe anymore. I'm sick of it.

4. I didn't get pregnant as easily as my or Ken's folks. I thought it would be once you decide to have kids, boom, you're pregnant. I'm not. Nor have I been the last 4 months I've tried. Which would be ok except since we just had to tell our folks I know they're expecting it and now I feel like I'm disappointing more than just me and Ken.

5. I don't have my guest room towel or laundry because a certain sister in law took it with her when she finally moved out and has yet to bring it back. And on that note...

6. There's still a goddamn dresser in our guest room that isn't ours.

7. We don't have cable right now because Ken has yet to set it up since installing the mantle. No biggie for him since he never watches it. Meanwhile I've been paying 100 a month these last two months for tv I can't watch. I miss my football.

8. Eagles suck this year! Like they're terrible. It hurts.

9. My brother is annoying as all hell. He sends me stupid text messages about Jonah Hill losing weight. Or he just took a biology test. I don't care. It's sad he doesn't have more friends than his sister but oh my god I'm going crazy trying to be a good sister and spend time with him. He's annoying, decides he likes certain things and then won't shut up about them. I'm going to crack soon.

10. Morgan died this year. This will be my first christmas without her out here since that first christmas where I got the doggie bone indicating that we could get her. It sucks.

I think that's good. Anymore and I might punch a wall or something. Hope you and yours have a happy Festivus and a Merry Christmas.

It's the most wonderful time of the year

Well, I've officially had a request to blog again and I'm not one to disappoint. So let me update with some fun things going on in my life. Firstly, my kitchen is done! And beautiful, if I don't say so myself.

The fridge will of course be updated as we find ourselves with excess of moneys. The stove is brand new though, stainless steel, gas lined, 5 range. I love it. It's beautiful and cooks food perfectly.

Also beautiful: our counter tops. They have flecks of green and cranberry in it. It matches the beautiful cabinets that are not actually cherry wood as they look, but stained at a much cheaper price. We also have our new dishwasher delivered today. It too is stainless steel and I'll post pictures once it's installed.

Secondly, it's Christmas* time! I'm surprisingly excited about it this year, I think mostly just because we have a house to decorate. Which we have:

Ken did an amazing time hanging the lights, though we still do need a wreth for the door. It's still feeling a lot like cozy holiday though. We've been making either hot apple cider or hot tea every evening. We also have our new fireplace installed. It's a gas line so we don't have to worry about any save the air days. There is also something very Christmasy feeling about a nice open fire. Complete with stockings by the fire.

 Why yes, that is a beautiful new mantle, thank you for noticing. I feel pretty on top of my shopping this year. If I haven't gotten people their gifts yet, I at least know what I'm getting them. I'm glad that I won't be going completely broke this year. My inlaws want homemade gifts so I'm cross stiching them something for their new home. I'm making Ken's Grandma a painted picture. I'll take pictures of both  once completed. Now if I could only get over this horrible cold I could maybe finish them.

*I say Christmas time because I celebrate Christmas, if I celebrated Hanukkah, I'd say it's Hanukkah time! If I celebrated Kwanzaa or however it's spelt, and you get the picture. I'm tired of people getting offended by the word Christmas. I'm not offended by "Happy Hanukkah" or "Happy Veteran's Day" (I'm not a Veteran after all) or anything. Saying Merry Christmas is saying I hope you have a great next few days.

Shouldn't be taken as an offensive statement. And that's my Christmas rant.

So to all my readers out there: Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year