I'm sitting in the living room watching the eagles/49ers game, knowing full well I'll have no football friends out here this week and it seems like it's the right time to write in my blog. I'm not sure what I need to write about, but the writing bug has bitten and you don't ignore bug bites.
I got back from one of the most unique trips to the east coast I've ever had. It was half good half bad. The good was I got to bring Kenny, introduce him to everyone and everyone to him. They all loved him of course, who could blame them, he's awesome and wonderful and I'm thankful everyday to have him in my life loving me and giving me strength and stability (but that's not where I want this blog to go, Kenny knows I love him, no one else wants to hear me ranting about it). We also got lots of free food between being taken out to dinner by family members and weddings and whatnot, my jeans are certainly tighter now than a few weeks ago. Both weddings we attended were awesomely wonderful and beautiful and the love was almost tangible between the bride and groom. The bad: my parents, no, not parents actually, my mother.
Let me remind all you gentle readers that I love my mom. She's my mommy. She went through 9 months and 9 days with me in her and 38 hours of me taking my sweet time coming out. She cares for me, wants me to be happy and yeah, I love her. She's driving me crazy lately. To start off, she's divorcing my dad. What's worse is she's divorcing my dad for changing reasons. At first it was his drinking, which was far out of hand. However, with the exception of half a glass of champaign at my engagement dinner, he hasn't drank anything in almost 5 months. If you knew my dad, you'd know what an accomplishment this is for him. Then my mom decides it's cause he's not bringing in money for the home. He makes a sale and brings in some money. Now, now I don't know what it is. She goes back east and on the car ride home from the airport she tells me this trip has just made her realize that she needs to divorce my dad once and for all, and she "knows it's not what I want to hear." No freakin' duh, mom. I wanted them to work things out. I hoped so many times (rarely outloud since it'd be too embarassing when it doesn't happen) that they would find a way to be back in love. I can't understand what has happened to make her think this is the only way. Frankly it doesn't matter. She's clearly upset that I don't want to talk about it. "I just thought that you were old and mature enough to talk about this." she says. I respond that you never are old enough to hear about your mom falling out of love with your father.
She also said I've made my allegence clear that I'm with my father by staying with his mother for the majority of the trip. This was not because I hate my mom and her family, but simply because she offered and had room for Kenny and I whereas her side did not. Not to mention she lived in close proximity to all the wedding events I had to attend. Also I stayed with her mother for two uncomfortable nights anyways, sleeping on the floor in her living room.
After dropping her off on Monday I don't talk to her again until Friday night when I see if she wants to meet for lunch the next day (Kenny's idea, not mine, I'm fine not talking to her until Christmas). She says sure, but throws in a guilt dripping "It's nice to hear from you" at the end of the convo. I want to yell the phone works both ways but restrain myself.
Oh, well. The bright side of Christmas is that I get to spend most of it with Kenny's family who has completely welcomed me in. We went over to wrap presents last night and with the rest of the family's stockings was one with my name on it complete with a Donald Duck pin and a Phillies logo on it. I'm going to love being a Mendez.
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